Proverbs 16:24 “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Have you ever had one of those moments where you wish you could take back the last sentence that exited your mouth? As if you could suck the air back in and the words would come with them? You temporarily lost your censor on your words and you said something that you should have never said and would have not said had you been thinking through your words.
I feel as though I try really hard to watch what I say around people. If I have a friend that is struggling with finances, I am sure to not share about the vacation we just recently took. If I have a friend that is trying to lose weight I'm sure not to mention the 4 lbs that I just gained in the last two weeks (true fact. gross.) by eating like crap and drinking beer. I try very hard to be mindlful of my friends struggles and how I can hurt their heart more with my words.
Words can do so much to someone. They have the ability to build someone up so high and they also have the ability to break someone's soul and hurt them so much. The old saying, “sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words can never hurt me”, yeah not true. Not true one bit. Our words have power behind them.
I try to be very cautious about who I talk about having more kids with. Honestly if I got pregnant right now at this stage in our life I would cry and lose my mind. I would be so sad and not joyful about that one bit. Now I know that would all change and we would somehow get happy during those 9 months, but it would be a process. You see how awful that sounds. Now imagine me saying that to a friend of mine that I know is trying so hard to have a baby. I have a few friends that have tried for years to have a baby. I would never say this in front of them. I guard my tongue of these thoughts to protect their hearts and our friendship.
The other day I temporarily lost my mind and said something about babies to a friend that is trying to have kids. She so desperately wants to have a baby and my words were salt to her open wounded heart. As soon as the words exited my mouth my stomach dropped and I felt like crap, especially as I noticed her eyes swell up with tears. Oh my friend that I had hurt. My heart was broken. I apologized 100 times. She knows my heart and loves me and knows that I would never say something so hurtful deliberately. She forgave me and we moved on, but I'm still thinking about it. I would never want to hurt my friend. Never.
I am back to being even more diligent about the words that exit my mouth. Be mindful of those around you that may be hurting or struggling.
Proverbs 16: 23 “A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction.”
I like the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will break my heart.” We all stick out foots in our mouths, being aware of it is a sign that you didn’t mean it.
One of my favorite children’s sermons focused on this. I learn more from these sermons than the grown up ones usually. They had 3 kids squeeze out a strip of toothpaste onto a plate and then try to put it back into the tube with a popsicle stick or toothpick and it just didn’t go back in. The paste represented the hurtful things we sometimes blurt without thinking and sometimes even though we say we are sorry the clean up isn’t always so “neat”. That image has remained with me for a long time but sometimes I still foam at the mouth. Fortunately, sometimes the blurts actually draw friendships closer or new friendships form because information was shared, you just never know.
I know what you mean. As an “infertility survivor” there were many times I died a little inside because of things friends said. We do understand, though – and I know your friend will forgive you. I pray all the time for God to guide my speech and shut my mouth. 🙂 Love you!
Thank you … SO much for your sweet and gentle reminder … and the wisdom that comes from those verses. Sometimes I don’t want to guard what I say anymore and ‘just say what I want to say’ for once, but, oh friend … the Holy Spirit has used you to ever so sweetly remind me of the wisdom that comes from dying to my flesh and doing what is of Christ, not of me. Thank you sweet Jamie.
what a precious and sensitive heart you have Jamie…I so wish that I had been able to spend more time with you when you were in the ‘Boro!