Over the past month I've been thinking a lot about blogging.  Why do I blog?  What do I want out of it?  You see, when this blog started way back in 2005 it was just to keep our parents up to date with their grandkids that lived thousands of miles away.  Then it became a way for me to remember big and small milestones about the kids (because who really has baby books that are complete these days), and then we started our Haitian adoption and it became a journal through those years.

Now, here I am wondering what it should be now. Sometimes I feel like I don't have much to offer because we're not in the trenches of adoption anymore.  (I know that's silly, and I'm not looking for a compliment to make me feel better, so don't offer one.)  I mean a mom to four is not that uncommon, right?  What should this blog be?  Should I tell stories?  Continue to journal my kids lives, which could become quite boring to most of you.  Should I share my thoughts on what God is teaching me, because that is always crazy, but then you just might not care about that either.  Talk about being married to Aaron Ivey.  😉

Sometimes I have this very crazy idea that I'd like to write a book.  It's crazy for two reasons.  #1 because I'm not a writer, I just blog.  I think those are two very different things!  #2 You don't just write a book.  I'd love to share my story of God's faithfulness and grace in my life because if you knew what I had been through in high school and college you would shout AMEN to God's faithfulness that I even made it to Jesus.  I'd love to write a book to adoptive momma's encouraging them in their wait and the first few months and years that follow bringing home your child. I know first hand how excruciating the wait is and how lonely the coming home is.

I've had the crazy privilege of writing a few articles this year for HomeLife and one for ParentLife as well.  Both of these magazines knew me from my blog, and so that has been amazing and wonderful.  Remember the whole I'm not a writer thing, well yeah I basically have a hysterical moment of anxiety and insecurity every time I email in my article.  I have someone edit it and they make lots of suggestions, because remember I'm not a writer, and that makes me feel stupid and unworthy.  It's a vicious cycle.  Is this how artist feel when they share their art?  It's worse than dreaming you go to school naked.  It's more like you go to school naked and everyone gets a marker to circle all your fat areas.  That's what I feel like when I send something in.  Completely vulnerable.

So, here I am vulnerable as ever, standing before you my reader and asking for your help.  I know that people read this blog, because I get your emails, and you find me in the parking lot of Old Navy to hug my neck and say hi to my children, which you know all their names, and you all say the same thing to me, Jamie thanks for being raw and vulnerable.  I think that's funny, because I'd much rather blog about my screw ups than what I do right, and maybe that's because I feel it is more personal, and maybe because I just always feel as though I grow so much through screwing up and have a God that is so good at picking me back up, dusting me off and moving me forward.  Many of you have journeyed with us for years now in our adoptions and you feel a part of that, and for that I'm humbled and grateful.  Thanks for reading my words.  I pray that God has used them to move your heart towards mercy and justice.   Now I need your help.  What do you want to hear from me?  Adoption questions.  Marriage questions.  Loving Jesus questions.  How God has redeemed me from my past.  What I think about Tom & Katie's divorce.  How my kids eat salad.  I have no clue folks.  You ask, and I'll tell.

Email me and let me know what you want to know.  jamie @ aaronivey (dot) com – anything.  Ask away.