One thing that I've tried to work hard on in our marriage is to look out for Aaron's needs. I'm not talking sexual, but just regular needs. I think in our society it is very easy to look out for yourself. We live in a world that basically screams at you to take care of yourself and yourself only. All around us people are asking “what can I do for me?”, instead of “what can I do for you?”.
I truly believe that if we lived our marriages trying to out-serve each other there are lots of us that would be much happier with our spouses. I'm talking completely denying yourself and serving your man. What would your night look like if instead of giving him the cold shoulder because he was 10 minutes late getting home, you showed him grace and continued to love. What would it look like if instead of throwing him under the bus in front of your kids about how he never takes the trash out, you just took it out yourself and then turned around and found something that he does do well to praise him about in front of your kids.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that most of our men would then begin to serve us. It's how nature works. You help me, I want to help you more. You love me, I want to love you more. Serving someone because they serve you is easy, but maybe you need to be the one to start this war of seeing who can serve the other more. Maybe it's up to you to serve when you aren't being served. To show grace when none is shown to you. To love when you aren't always loved first.
Starting now see if you can out-serve your man. I promise you'll see changes. Put this to the test.
What a great challenge! Tugged at my heart- I know I can do better!! I’m gonna try!!
The Lord taught me this awhile ago concerning my younger siblings and my friends. I know that marriage is whole new monster, but I’m glad you shared this so I can see how God is preparing me for that, while- obviously- teaching me to be a good sister and friend. 🙂
Great advice! I was needing that kick in the pants, too. 🙂
I “found” you over at Inspired to Action. I enjoy your writing Jamie! I really connected with this post on serving your spouse. It’s something I’ve been working on over the past several years, yet there are still those small moments of “What about me?” that poke through. Thanks for the continued reminder to try and keep my focus on filling HIS needs!
Sounds like men are from m@rs, women are from ven%s. I tried that once. It worked for a little while. Then he just reverted back to criticizing every little thing I do. All. The. Time.
On Thanksgiving morning, quite by accident I discovered he had placed ads on two different websites looking to “hook up” with women. Talk about a kick in the gut. Now I’m just devastated and paralyzed and don’t know what to do.
Jamie..many years ago, I attended a bible study and we talked about this very thing..I went home and vowed to do this for ONE week to see if it made a difference..OHMYWORD….this has changed our marriage..after 26 years!!! Thanks for the reminder to serve my man:)