Whenever I'm out in public I often find myself wondering what life will be like when Amos and Story are home with us. How will it be when we all go out? I think about the logistics of things. When we go to a restaurant, we'll have to get a table for six for just our family. 🙂 When we get in our car there will only be one extra seat in the van. When we go to the grocery store, we'll have to get one of those super-duper big grocery carts.
After I think logistics I then move on to how our family will look when we're out in public. I know that when Deacon was a baby I used to think of these things too. What will people wonder about us? Not that this matters to me one bit, I just like to think about it. Now that Deacon is two I never think this about us. We are just “us” to me and there is nothing to think about, so I know I will eventually be that way when all of our kids are home, but for now I find myself wondering these things.
When we adopted Deacon we were open to any race of a child. We didn't care what color they were, we just wanted to help a child that needed a home. We were told in one of our first meetings that the hardest children to place are black or biracial baby boys. We were shocked to hear that and honestly I still don't know why. We said, we'll that's what we're here for. We wanted to be available for moms that didn't have too many options for parents for their babies.
For me I have to sometimes hold my tongue when people talk about not being open to any race. I often find myself judging them and thinking bad thoughts about them. I wonder why they think their race is any better than any other. The number one reason I hear from people is because they are not sure how their family would handle it. I usually have two words for that response. WHO CARES? If you and your spouse are ready and willing to handle a trans-racial family and would love any child that God placed in your home, then I'm not sure what your grandpa in Mississippi or your parents in backwoods GA have any decision making in your life.
So, today as I was reading a blog that I subscribe to called Anti-Racist Parent I was in awe of the stats that they listed there. In their recent entry titled Race preference in adoption they talked about something as simple as taking your daughter to FAO Swartz only find out that all the white baby dolls have been purchased adopted and the only ones left are the black ones. Oh No! Now what!
Here is something that I found in the article to be extremely interesting, but yet sadly not surprising one bit:
Here’s a real-life paralell example: a site that hosts pre-adoptive parent profiles*, families waiting for domestic–usually infant–adoption (NOTE: this site only accepts heterosexual, married couples–and most are Christian as well). Of the hundreds of currently listed waiting families:
- 88% would ‘accept’ a White baby
- 33% would ‘accept’ a South American or Hispanic baby
- 28% would ‘accept’ an Asian baby
- 26% would ‘accept’ a Native American baby
- 14% would ‘accept’ a Black baby
I want to encourage you to go and read the article that I linked to above. They put it all much better than I can here on my little rinky-ding blog. Is that a word, rinky-ding? Or is it rinky-dink? You know what I mean.
*Let me just add that I don't think people should adopt from a different race if they are not willing to educate themselves and not make their child “white”. Also let's not forget that any child adopted that is from a different race than you would make your family trans-racial. It is not just a white/black thing.