I’m very emotional today. Ronel coming home last night nearly put me over the edge. I’m so overjoyed for this family. Ronel’s dad has literally fought for him for the past two weeks. He would not leave Haiti until his son was with him. What a dad to have! Ronel is one blessed little guy and knowing Ronel I know that the Parker family is one blessed family to have him in their family now. Oh thank you to Jesus for getting this boy home to his family.
Here’s an article in the Houston Chronicle about his home coming.
This morning I took the kids out for the first time around lots of people and not sure if it was good or bad for Amos. Once we got home we have had the worst 2 hours in the two weeks he’s been here. I put Amos and Story in our double stroller hoping that this would detour people from being all up in his face and all over him. He gets very overwhelmed in these situations and that’s why we’ve been home for 2 weeks trying to establish our family. I’m pretty confident that we still have some weeks in us of just hibernating at the house to build up the “Ivey Team”.
We got home and things went downhill. I can almost see when they are beginning to go downhill, and so I adjusted and loved and bent down on his level to talk to him. I think I missed my signal b/c he was done. After a simple request for him to pick up his shoes, he refused to look at me, talk to me and pushed me away. I held him close even as he pushed away and repeated what I always tell him. “Momma loves you. I will never leave you. You are here forever. This is your home. I love you.” Over and over and over again as he begged to get out of my arms. I held him. Loved him.
Things started going better and I’ll spare you all the details, but they went from bad to worse in about 2 minutes. I’ve always heard people say that they are having to rely on God’s strength minute-by-minute and I honestly don’t think I can remember a time in my life where I literally was begging God minute by minute for something until today. I’m embarrassed to say that I was begging God to take away my anger. If Cayden or Deacon would have done some of the things he did they would have been in big trouble. But Amos is different. Amos is hurt. His heart and soul are wounded. Very wounded. He can’t help it. He is learning to trust me and to love me. I was begging God minute-by-minute to refocus my heart and to allow his heart to trust me and love me.
Things eventually got better and we loved each other, laughed, kissed and hugged. I always try to get right back to normal after these episodes b/c I want Amos to know that Mommy is not mad at him, but she loves him and she won’t ever leave him.
When people think about adoption, unfortunately these are not the first things they think of, but adoption is hard. It is very hard. BUT I WOULD NOT TRADE MY LIFE FOR ANYTHING. I love my kids. I love this journey we are on. I love adoption. I love that God formed our family through adoption. I love that God is not surprised by any of this, and he has big plans for this family and all four of my kids. I’m one happy momma! My babies are all here. We might have a long journey in the next few months, but I don’t care. I have God to guide me and my son is home.
So, now I’m off to veg for a few minutes as all kids are resting. I’m praying that this afternoon is the best afternoon yet. It just might be.