I'm watching the Oprah from when Elizabeth Vargas was on there talking about her decision to step down from the evening news to spend more time with her family. It is a good show and has brought up many feelings within the audience about what is “best”. The working moms say that they are good moms and can do it all. The stay-at-home moms say they are right and are being the “best” moms that their children need.

Here is the deal – what is best for your children. Some moms would go crazy and be crappy moms if they were home all day with their preschool children. Other moms are best at home with their kids, and others are best at the workforce.

The therapist on there says that you need to be in tune as to what is best for your family – your value system. She says some moms are home all day but are not in tune with their family – so what makes them better?

I will tell you this is a hard issue for me. There are many days that I wonder what it would be like if I had a “real” job. Sometimes I really miss those days of teaching and coaching. I know that I am making the right choice for our family now, and I LOVE being home with my kids, BUT I still think about those days of having a “real” job. Sometimes I wonder if I even do a good job of actively engaging my children while I am at home with them. Am I doing them justice by staying home with them, or would they be more stimulated at a child care center while I am fulfilled at a “real” job. Would I be a better mom if I felt as though I was doing something during the day besides changing diapers and fixing lunches and washing dishes. Could I be better for them? Or, would I miss all the AMAZING times that we have together during the day. When Cayden sings songs about loving mommy, daddy and deaky. Or when Deacon jumps in his bed when I come in there after nap.

When I think these things I feel an extreme amount of guilt. I have friends that would give their left arm to quit their job and be able to stay home. There is a part of me that doesn't want to work – to be able to have family time all the time is amazing. BUT there is a big part of me that wants to interact in the world and influence people.

How do you mom's feel about this? If you do stay home, do you ever wish you didn't? If you don't stay home do you ever wish you could stay home?

I hope that no one interprets this post as me not being happy, b/c I love my life and am so happy. But I think that I'm not the only one that has these thoughts.

Jamie Ivey