A few weeks ago Aaron went into the boys room like he does each night he’s home to say goodnight and this time he snuggled up in bed to read a special book to Cayden. It was a book about sex. Yes, Cayden is 6.5 and we just had our first sex talk with him. That night that Aaron went in there my stomach hurt for him and I wasn’t even the one reading the book.
Aaron and I have discussed since we had kids that we wanted to be open about this type of stuff with them. Like most people my age would say I don’t remember my parents actually talking to me about sex and what it was, why it was created, or even what it was for. I do remember being talked to about not doing it, but that was about it. I don’t think our parents generation was talked to about it either, and therefore didn’t feel comfortable talking about it with their kids. So, when I read my friend Julie’s blog about her having the talk and what books she used I knew that I needed to follow her lead and get with it. Her daughter is also in first grade and at a public school, and I too didn’t want Cayden hearing about sex for the first time from some mean 5th grade boy at lunch time!
On a side note I still remember sitting through that dreaded video in 3rd grade about periods, and I still remember Cody singing “me so horny” when I was in 5th grade. I probably had NO IDEA what that “h” word meant, but I vividly remember him singing it. 🙂
Okay so after reading Julie’s post I went on over to Amazon and bought these sex books for us! If you go to Julie’s post on this she explains what they each are, so I won’t go into that, but I do know that the next day Cayden was still asking questions and thought it was so cool that he know truly understood why he looks so much like his daddy. The books says that “God took a tiny piece of daddy’s body and a tiny piece of mommy’s body and made you!”. That clicked for Cayden and he enjoyed knowing why he looks like his daddy.
As I went through these books after they came in the mail I began to get very concerned for our next three kids. You see, Amos, Deacon & Story don’t exactly follow the ….. Mommy & Daddy fell in love and then made a baby type of feel good story. This made my heart hurt that they will be face to face with the fact that they were not created in the way that God created it to be. I was talking about this with Maris and she made a good point. She said that the way that God created it (mommy daddy loving each other and making a baby) is not how it always happened b/c of the sin that entered the world, but because of Jesus we have hope and that even if it isn’t how he created it doesn’t mean that you are an accident. God has a purpose for everything and is sovereign in everything. YOU WERE CREATED WITH A PURPOSE. I pray that God gives Aaron and I supernatural wisdom, grace and words when we go through these books with our children that are here through adoption. We believe that God is sovereign and in control of everything and therefore he is working and at work in each of our lives no matter how they look.
I was happy to read that in the first book “The Story of Me” it does talk for a split second about adoption. It says, “Sometimes a mother knows she will not be able to give everything her baby needs. This mother might let another mommy and daddy adopt her baby. They will love and care for the baby.” Of course I would have added more to this, but I was happy to see it there.
So there it is. We are talking about sex around here and doing it in a very healthy and appropriate way. I want my kids to know the facts and to not be given false information on the playground from some kid that doesn’t know anything besides what his big brother tells him.