{This post is part of Lysa TerKeurst’s “The Best Yes” Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers.}
This summer while Aaron and I were away for a week and unplugged from everything and everyone I spent some time evaluating the next year for myself. I looked ahead towards the Fall and began to ask God where he wanted me to invest my time and gifts.
I have a tendency to say yes to everything. I love being involved in things, and I’m always so honored to be asked to be involved in things. Usually these feelings of loving to be included and honored to be asked lead me to say yes way more than I should.
Every season of my life that has felt overwhelming always involves great things. I’m usually stretched so thin because I want to be involved in everything that our church has going on, and everything at my kids school, because those things always benefit people. And I happen to love the people that they benefit.
I laid out my goals for the Fall and committed to only saying YES to things that fell under these categories:
The downtown AM service at my church
Writing opportunities
Speaking opportunities
Podcasting opportunities
Redeemed Ministries
That’s it. Nothing else. You don’t even see my kids school on there, because I just can not be in charge of the book fair again. I HATED doing that. Not because I hate book fairs, or my kids school, but it’s just not where I want to focus my time and energy right now. I want to do a few things well, and not a lot of things okay.
Recently a friend that I highly respect called and told me about this awesome new thing she was going to start here in Austin to gather women together and wanted me to be apart of it. I was a fan of this idea from the start, and decided that I would seek Aaron’s wisdom and see if I thought it would work for my life right now.
I recalled my goals for the Fall and realized that what she was asking me to do didn’t fit into any of those categories, but I pursued it anyways, and told her YES.
That week my time in the word took me to a story that I have read 100 times before .
Luke 10:38-42 tells the story of Martha and Mary. We know how it goes … Jesus comes over for dinner and Martha spends her whole time serving in the kitchen, and Mary sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teachings. Martha gets mad at Mary and ends up asking Jesus if he even cares about her. Then Jesus says this, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
I have read that story 100’s of times before, but in this moment I felt as though I was doing just that. I was about to commit myself to so much that I would miss the most important thing of sitting with Jesus. I would work so hard to serve Jesus, but that usually ended up in me forgetting to sit at his feet and listen. To just be with him.
I wrestled with this for a few days because I really wanted to be a part of this, and as I mentioned before I was super honored to be asked.
BUT it didn’t fit anywhere under my commitment list, so I was struggling. Finally a few days after I had told her yes I knew in my heart that I needed to call and tell her no. She was so gracious and completely understood, but still it was hard. It was as if I felt like a loser for not being able to do it all. For not being able to add one more thing to my plate. And yet I was so proud of myself for saying no. For making my yes’s count in life. For looking at what I had committed the next year to and sticking to it.
Saying yes is easy for me. Saying no is oh so hard, but I’m learning that to be my best YES I need to say no. I want to serve diligently like Martha, but I am putting boundaries up so that I don’t forget that Mary actually had chosen the good portion. Jesus said only one thing was necessary and that was to sit at his feet and listen.
God, let me not forget the one thing that is necessary.
{New York Times Bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst has written a new book about finding your Best Yes. Many call this book “inspiring” and “fabulous.” You can find the book here.}
Jamie- This message is so encouraging in two ways. ONE is that I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE SACRIFICING MY DESIRES!!!! I want to print this post off and carry it in my daily planner so I can be reminded that God is shaping others through struggle too as I make my choices for our time and money each day! It is almost like I’m giving up a limb when I have to say NO to things that I feel I REALLY want and MUST do! I often fear if I don’t do it, than no one else will and those I’m serving will go unloved and unhelped… as if God didn’t care about them as much as I do! And TWO I have mentor’s in my life that when they allow God to shape them to be strong in their strengths they CHANGE lives. I see from a pretege standpoint how unpowerful a powerful person can be when they try to do everything, but how POWERFUL they are in such a short time when they only say yes where God wants them to be! Thank you for following the call of God in your life and being a great example of strength for the rest of us leaders!
“Usually these feelings of loving to be included and honored to be asked lead me to say yes way more than I should.” YES! It is difficult to say no to good things, in order to pursue the best things. And my pride gets in the way so often. Just because someone asks me to be a part of something wonderful doesn’t mean it is truly for me. Thanks for this reminder today!
Jaime, thank you so much for this post! Just this week I realigned by schedule with what I feel I am capable of and what is most important to me. I did this to be able to really be in a mental state to hear from God. PS, this Fall I am going to apply to UT for my Masters of Science in Nursing. I hope to get in & start Summer 2015. This is another reason why I am minimized by extracurricular commitments…applying to grad schools is a full time job in itself!