One of the hardest things about adoption for me is the unknowns. Those questions that you may go your whole life and never know the answers. In domestic adoption there are some questions, but for us our international adoptions bring so many questions. There are many questions about our kids adoptions that we don't share online because quite frankly it's their story to tell and just because their momma likes to share all her dirty secrets online doesn't mean I can do that for them.
One of the questions I have a lot is about family members for my kids in Haiti.
A few weeks ago I was sent this picture from a friend in Haiti telling me that this is one of Story's sisters. Oh my heart fell to the floor and broke in a hundred pieces when I looked at this. My daughter's sister. Looking so sad and so malnourished. My daughter's sister not having what her sister in Texas has. My daughter's sister looking so hopeless and alone.
One thing I learned when we took Fedna back was that I can't control everything, and also that just because America looks better does not mean it is better. That is a lie that we Americans have bought into. How do I know that this sweet little girl is not healthy now and living a great life with her mom and dad each and every day. Just because she's not sitting next to me playing on my ipad while eating a wide variety of organic and locally grown produce doesn't mean she doesn't have a good life.
I pray and hope that our connections in Haiti will one day allow our kids to go back to their birth land and find their siblings and parents and reconnect. How amazing would that be.
Until then, I will remember these faces and pray for them. I'll pray for Amos & Story's family in Haiti and beg God to keep them safe and healthy. That's what I'll do.
Gosh, I hope that Story and her brothers can meet her sister someday, too!