I cried when I walked Cayden to his kindergarten classroom.  I tried to not let him see me, so as I backed out of there about 98% confident that he would fully survive a full day without me, I held the tears until I was out of sight from him.  I couldn't believe that my baby boy, the one that made me a mama, was big enough to be in school.  They say they grow up right before your eyes, and that is the understatement of my lifetime.  I still can't believe I have a 3rd grader.

I haven't cried on a first day of school since.  I look forward to the first day of school now, and my girlfriend and I joke that we pull hamstrings as we do kart-wheels out of there.  Although them all going to school is a sure sign that they are growing up.

I haven't sent my last baby to kindergarten and until that day comes I can't make any promises on whether or not I'll cry or not.  It seems that with your last child things are a little different.  I never cried taken Amos or Deacon to kindergarten, because I had a toddler I was excited to spend time with.  This might be a tad bit different when I drop off all four kids and drive off with no one in the car.  What is that even like, to drive with no one in the car with you?

This weekend my baby girl lost her first tooth.  This event struck me in a profound way.  More profound that many of her other firsts.  I'm not sure why, but as she complained of her loose tooth I realized that this is my last child to loose their first tooth.  I'll never have this happen again.

It was a sure  sign of her growing up.  So many times the fourth kid gets pulled up with the others, especially since our kids are all within four years, and they sometimes seem much bigger than they actually are.  My baby girl lost her first tooth and this will never happen again.  My baby is getting to be such a big girl.  She now has the toothless grin, that I love on kids!

Oh my momma heart was full this weekend.  Full of love for my babies, and full of joy for the years I have had with them.  I was beyond thankful to witness her losing her first tooth, because unfortunately I missed Amos' and that was hard for me.  Although she's still my baby, she just got a little big bigger this weekend.