I have noticed in my life that my need for God fluctuations based on my circumstances.  Now I know this is not right, but I'm just telling you what I'm noticing about my life.  When things are good, I love God, I have God, I need him, but when things are bad, I'm desperate for God and my need for him in my life is evident with every breath that I take.

I was just telling a friend about this recently.  I told her that in moments when life has been hard, I have felt so close to God.  I prayed more often, I cried out to him more often, and my need for him was larger than life.

I for sure am not one to ask for trials or hard times, but the older I get the more I'm realizing that these times are not in vain, and that they are pushing me closer to God with each trial.

During our adoption I needed God to get me through each day.  Each time I left my kids in Haiti I relied on God to get me through each trip.  When Deacon was diagnosed with RRP I felt my world crumble and ran to God for comfort.  With each surgery that Deacon had I cried out to God for healing.  Now I find myself politely asking for healing, but it's just not on the forefront of my mind because we're not in the midst of suffering.

This morning I read Psalm 73:28 “But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the LORD God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.”  This verse jumped off the page for me and I hope it ministers to your heart as well.  I want to be reminded that in the hard times when I'm running to God for refuge that I sill can tell of his works.  In the hard times when I'm only surviving by staying in the refuge of God, I want to shout of God's good works in my life.  When things are falling apart I want to share God's good works in my life.  When it feels as though nothing is going right, I want to shout God's goodness to the world.

May we be people that even in the midst of crying our eyes out in the refuge of the Lord, we are still proclaiming all of his works in our lives.