Happy Birthday sweet Fedna!

Four years ago a sweet little three year old entered my world and changed me forever.  God took Aaron and I down a crazy path of hosting a sweet girl from Haiti.  From the minute she was placed in my arms in Fort Lauderdale, I was her protector.  I was her everything.  We leaned on each other so much those 9 weeks, and I think God used her to change my life so much.

I reminded Aaron today of her birthday and we giggled a bit about the fact that at first Aaron was pretty adamant about her not coming here to live with us.  He didn't think it was a smart idea for us to take in a girl that would need so much attention.  He didn't think that we could physically and emotionally take care of her and all her needs.  He didn't want to step out there and do it.  I thought of none of these things, but wanted to jump at this as soon as I heard.

God changed Aaron's heart,  and Fedna was a part of our family for 9 weeks.  Nine of the hardest weeks of my life.  Staying in the hospital is hard enough, but when it's with a child that's not even your own, there are times when you want to throw in the towel.  It's hard work and God grew me so much in those weeks.  Our community stepped up and helped so much, and we made it.  We took care of a girl that had so many special needs.  I was her mom for those 9 weeks and my heart was completely hers.

I've said it a million times, I would have adopted her in a heart beat.  I feel completely in love with her and would have been her mother in an instant.  She didn't need me though, because thankfully her momma was waiting for her the whole time back in Haiti.  I can never imagine sending my baby away for 9 weeks to receive medical care and always wondering how she was doing.  Although taking her back to Haiti and giving her back to her mom was one of the hardest moments of my life, I knew it was right and good.  It didn't make it easy though.  Fedna's mom trusted me, and that moved me as well.  I took that responsibility very seriously.

So, today, I remember you Fedna again.  Your picture sits on the dresser in my room.  My boys remember helping you with your walker.  Aaron remembers how much you hated him in the beginning, and then loved him in the end.  I remember you as the little girl that completely stole my heart and made me a better person.  You loved me too, even if you never remember me.  I love you Fedna.  I'll always have a special place in my heart for you!