Well, today was the last day of my short time at a very cool job. As you know I’ve gone back and forth with working vs staying home with my kids. On one hand it’s been a very hard decision, but yet on the other hand it’s been a very easy decision.
I started the crazy radio journey back in February when I literally thought it would be fun to send in a demo for a radio job even though I had no experience or clue what I was doing. It was a shot in the dark. A long shot. No way would I win this contest.
I did. I won. I earned a job at a radio station. I started down a new career path and it was awesome. I have had so much fun at KVET and learned so much. I feel like I was just thrown in there and expected to fly and that was intimidating, but I had some great teachers in the room with me who have helped me fly and carried me when I wasn’t sure what I was doing.
I have discovered a job that I truly enjoy and have been told I’m good at. That makes a person feel good. I have been allowed to share my faith on the radio to hundreds of thousands of people. I have been able to portray a healthy marriage and family on the air. I have talked about “date nights” & “ladies nights”. I have been personal, transparent and shared my heart to people I may never meet. I love being real on this blog and that was easy for me on the radio as well.
While working I also discovered that my time as being a stay at home mom is not over. Unfortunately it took me jumping out there and leaving the house for me to see that where I’m supposed to be is at home with my kids. This was hard for me to swallow because all of a sudden I was beginning a career that I truly enjoyed. I was doing something fun and meaningful in life (not that stay at home mom isn’t, but you get my point) and actually enjoying it.
I started to feel torn. I was torn between myself and my desires and my family and where God wanted me at the moment. I felt confused because I knew that I had prayed about this job and felt as though God was opening doors and leading me here, but now I was feeling the opposite. I prayed and consulted friends and family. I asked God to make it 100% clear to me, even if everyone around me didn’t get it. He did just that. I realized that it’s not normal for a woman who is on track for a great career to drop it all to go home with her kids. I thought more listeners would be supportive, but surprisingly there were a few that told me I needed to suck it up and do it. They said my kids would be too needy if I stayed home. They said I was abandoning what I started. They said I stole a job from someone else.
What I realized through this transition, is that putting away my desires and wants for my kids is the most selfless thing I can do. I am putting their needs above my own wants. Of course I desire to work in the radio industry. Of course I desire to make a name for myself. Of course I desire success. BUT more than any of those desires I desire to raise healthy, attached kids that love God with all their heart, soul and mind. I desire to raise kids that love each other. I desire to raise kids that are well educated, rounded and have hearts that would put others before themselves. For my family at this moment I realized that this would not be accomplished with me working.
So many listeners have supported me so much. They have encouraged me and loved me through this transition. I got this email this morning and these are the emails that make it hard for me to go.
You were such a breath of fresh air every morning on my way to work. And of course I love you being with Bob on Sunday Mornings!.I can understand your delimna and support your decision to leave and spend time with your babies!. You only have one time in your life to be there with them when they are young, and you are blessed that your financially able to do thisI’ve been a listener since (YIKES) 1969 and of course the stations have changed.Although you haven’t been there long, you have stood your own, and are the epitome of CLASS!.I thank you for sharing YOU with me, even for a short time.May God and all the Saints in heaven be with you always!Thank you for being such an inspiration!
So, today was my last day. It was a fun day with a pizza party and all! I found it ironic that when I left to go home my car wouldn’t start. I was stuck at KVET for another hour while waiting on Triple A.
If you didn’t hear any of this here you go …..