Is it weird that one day  my kids won't dress up.  One day they'll request a car for their birthday instead of the newest batman costume.  One day they'll want me to take them to the movies instead of playing dress up with their brothers and sisters.

Some days I hate being mommy.

There I said it.

Did I just say that?

Some days I wish I was anything but mommy.  Often I dream of just getting in my car and leaving to go eat lunch with someone without finding childcare.  I dream of living in a loft downtown Austin and sleeping late and eating lunch at some bistro on Congress. I dream of going to a movie anytime I want.

Then I wake up and realize that one day I can do all that, but for now my job is home.  My kids are my job and for that I am so grateful.  I am the ONLY mom in the world they will ever have.  I have a choice.  I can love them through the chaos or I can think of all the things I think I'm missing out on by being mommy right now.

You see the truth is that I'm not missing anything.  I'm gaining the world.  I'm gaining all there is to gain.  I needed to be reminded of this today as I cherished my kids tonight and this afternoon.  They are my responsibility and God has entrusted them to me.  I don't want to blow it and I don't want to lose the opportunity that I have with them.

Looking at this picture of my kids makes me think of all the joy that they bring to my life.  Some times I only seem to focus on the chaos. The work. The craziness. The tantrums.  The time-outs.  The spankings.  The pee on the floor.  The laundry.  The dishes.  The early mornings.  The car pools.  The bickering.

I want to be a better mom.  I want to be the best mom. I want to truly see them and truly hear them.  I want to be all I can to them.  I want to pour myself out for them.

Just recently I was reading in Ephesians chapter four:   “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, [2] with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, [3] eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”  Honestly I can not get those words CALLING TO WHICH YOU HAVE BEEN CALLED out of my mind.  I know that Paul is for sure not talking to moms here, but for me this verse has screamed at me all week.  Right now I have been called to be mommy to Cayden, Amos, Deacon & Story and this verse has wrecked me recently.  I don't want to miss this.

I don't want to miss this.

I don't want to miss this.

I don't want to miss this.

I don't want to miss this.