My mom walks 5 days a week no matter how hot or cold it might be, and she has been doing this for almost 12 years where they currently live. I did the math on that this morning and basically she has walked the exact same route roughly 2, 400 times and that's me giving her a month off a year for vacations, rain, and super-duper cold (which where she lives is never). I have visited her too many times to count and I have never ever walked with her. She's asked and I've always said no. Not that I'm trying to be mean or anything, but for two reasons.
First, it's early. Like butt-crack of dawn early. Which by the way, what does that actually mean ‘butt-crack-of-dawn'? I've heard that used forever and obviously have chosen today to use it, but I don't truly know what it means. Which if this was my child asking I would advise them to never use words they don't know the meaning of, and so maybe I should adhere to that. Let's start over ….
First, it's early. Like super-crazy-awful early. (Better, right?) 6:15 kind of early, which let's be honest people it's not that early, but if you are at your parents house and don't have to get anyone up for school you don't want to get up in the 6 o'clock hour, ever. So, I've never gone with her because I would rather sleep in then go on a walk with my mom, and gosh when I say that out loud that sounds ridiculous.
Secondly, it's dark. Yes, that's my second excuse. It's pitch black dark and I'm a big scaredy cat. Seriously, Aaron has labeled me as having WCSD, which stands for Worst Case Scenario Disease. What this basically means is that I will think the worst thing possible in each situation. So what this means for me and this walk that my mom does is that I'm certain a few things will happen to me on this walk. First a crazy man that recently escaped from prison (because YES there is a prison w/in 20 miles of their house, and seriously if someone escaped from prison they could easily trek 20 miles in hopes of freedom) will meet us on our walk, drag us into the forest and take us to his new home in the forest where he has set up camp and has been living for a few weeks now. Do you see the crazy in my head? Did I mention my parents live in the country? East Texas country. The second worry is animals. I'm also fairly certain a wild hog, copperhead, coyote, or crazy mountain lion (I don't think they even exist out here) will see us coming, wait in the dark by the side of the road and attack us and eat us for dinner. Dumb. I know.
So …. this morning I walked with my mom. First time ever and y'all I'm here to tell you I was scared the entire time. At one point I nearly peed my pants because some deer ran in front of us. Next I saw a big leaf in the middle of the road and thought it was a possum waiting to attack. Here's why I'm fearful. This is what it looked like when we left the house:
Yes, that's the road ahead of me and I took that picture with my phone as we were walking. No lie. Pitch black dark. It was also super cloudy, and so the moon barely peeked through for us.
Y'all I was scared the entire time, and last night told my mom how scared I was going to be, but she said “If I do this every day for years, you can do it too.” Well, she was right. I can do it.
We walked and talked and I jumped at leaves and deer, but I made it. I was fearful and I still did it.
Funny thing about this is that Sunday I'm teaching on worry/anxiety and I barely slept last night because of my fear of walking with my mom today. Thankfully I have been reading Philippians 4 and so during the walk I constantly reminded myself to think about what is true and what is honorable. What's true is that even if all that I listed above happened to me, which seriously how lame are all those fears, I would still have God. He wouldn't have left me or forgotten about me. I can face my fears because we serve a God that is sovereign over our lives.
So, what's your lamest biggest fear these days?
My husband just told me he is adopting the term WCSD for my behavior as well. Thanks 🙂
Jamie-your mom has survived 2,400 times! Those are good odds!
Lame fear-that my kids will scare the fire out of me by standing at the side of my bed in the middle of the night!
So…perfect timing for me to read this post as I’m sitting in our apartment alone at 8:45 at night knowing that my husband doesn’t finish work for another 3 hours. He rarely works nights and I am not a fan of when he does. Additionally, someone knocked about 20 minutes ago. I didn’t check who it was and made sure all the blinds were closed and windows locked. Lol.
So, a) I always say “butt-crack of dawn,” and giggle every time; b) I am terrified of the dark and still do the run and leap into the bed because, duh, someone could be under there and grab my ankles; and c) I grew up in East Texas (Nacogdoches), and was once chased by a wild hog. No lie!
This is my first time reading your blog and I feel like I’m in the right place. 🙂
Lame fear? Snakes. HATE them…loathe them….they have even kept me from going hiking or doing yard work…and you want to hear how totally lame it is? Where I live…we don’t even have poisoness snakes. Yeh…I know! Sigh! But it is real…it is what I deal with everytime I go outside to weed my flower beds or pick a tomato.
My other lame fear (lame because it’s still my lack of faith) Having my child or hurt by someone else. Everyday my kids leave for school I pray and pray for them. Last year my two oldest daughters where at school when there was a shooting. They attend Reynolds High School in Troutdale, OR. When I received the first text from my oldest that the school was in lock down I thought it was for something minor…as usual…then a friend called and told me what was happening and that’s when my heart was gripped with fear. Then I was glued to the tv and my phone….and feeling helpless….but I had God…He was there before it happened and there while it was happening and He is still here today. My girls were safe and within a few hours were in my arms….however two families did not get their child back. Did my fear increase? Absolutely, but yet so have my prayers. Not just praying for protection for my kids everyday…but praying for my faith in his sovereignty. As the fear tries to creep in….I increase my prayers.
Lame or legit…minor or major? Fear is not of God…so I am hanging onto him as tight as I can every step of the way as he heals me of WCSD! Cause I am just flesh….flesh filled with a Holy Spirit.
Malissa – wow. thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry about that crazy situation that you had to endure, but I love seeing how God has used that to increase your faith and prayer life.
I’m glad you went on the walk with your mom. I bet it was a special time. I have a huge fear of someone coming into church and shooting. I have an exit plan EVERY SINGLE Sunday. As soon as I sit down I figure out how I would get out depending on what door a shooter came in and then how I would get to my kids. It’s ridiculous, but it’s my big fear. I know God is in control and honestly getting to go from worshiping him in church to worshiping him in person would be pretty amazing. Wish I could hear your talk on worry and anxiety. Are they going to record it?