Story woke up crying in the middle of the night last week almost every night. She was so scared and it was always the same thing. Medusa. She was seeing Medusa and was so frightened that she literally was shaking and couldn't get herself back to sleep. We let our kids watch the first Percy Jackson movie since Cayden had finished the book, and I had no idea that it would be so scary. Amos and Story were both scared afterwards and it took a full week for Story to start sleeping in her bed all night again. Each morning I would wake up to her on the floor next to my bed because she had gotten scared.
As I was in her room one night trying to calm her down, she was crying about Medusa being in her dream. I would ask her, “Is Medusa real?” and she would shake her head no through all the tears, and then I would say “If she's not real, then you don't need to be scared.” and she responded with “But I still see her every time I close my eyes.”. Poor baby was so scared.
I finally got her back to bed, and as I got back in my bed it struck me. I know that so many of the thoughts that breed insecurity in my life aren't true, but when I close my eyes they are always there. It's as if my head always knows the right answer, but my heart is sometimes so far behind. My head can tell myself all day long that I'm made in the image of God, that he has a purpose for my life, that I'm seeking him well and being a good mom, but heart always lies to me. Always.
Story and I prayed a lot those nights to take Medusa out of her mind and help her believe that Medusa is not real and can not hurt her. I've found myself doing that a lot these past few days. Begging God to help me belief him at his word. Praying that he would connect my head and my heart to know and rely on his truths about me, his daughter. Asking him to bring joy in my life that isn't dependent on anything someone does or says to me, but yet just because it's from Him.
Oh he can do this friends. Let us all stop believing that Medusa is real.
Psalm 16:11 “you make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”