My challenge for the month of March is going just okay. Not great. Not bad. Just okay. I think I imagined more. I imagined fun play dates each week with each kid. I imagined ice cream cones and skipping down the street and lots of snuggles and times of doing nothing.
Truth is that life doesn't really roll that way. At least not in our house. I'm honestly having the hardest time being alone with my children outside of our home. Does anyone have this mastered?
I have taken a few trips to the grocery store and instead of asking Aaron to watch all the kids so I could be alone in the grocery store (because we know sometimes that is pure bliss) I have taken one kid along with me. That counts as alone time, but to me it isn't the FUN ALONE TIME I was envisioning.
I am thinking about this a lot, and striving to be intentional with them, but some days life takes over and I realize I never was alone with any of them. There are always 2 or 3 kids around me.
Am I alone here?
How do you do it?
Tonight I was tucking Deacon in and I asked him what his favorite thing to do with mom was. After what seemed like hours of silence where he was thinking and I was surely convinced he could think of nothing that I ever do fun with him, and I was the worst mom ever, and am ruining him for life, he smiled and said he liked the duck place where we get brownies.
I thought for a while and realized he was talking about Quack's, which is a local bakery that we have shopped at before. I asked him if he wanted to go there this week with just him and I and he got the biggest smile on his face. I told him he could get a brownie and I would get a coffee and we could just talk.
He leaned down and gave me a huge hug. It made my day just knowing that he was excited about him and I heading out for a date.
This week at Central Market I pulled Amos aside for a moment and had some snuggles. He is a very affectionate kid, but can sometimes get embarrassed by my affections in public. Any attention kinda embarrasses him. 🙂
I'm still yearning to be intentional with my kids. Aaron has taken some time off and we've had lots of family time, and so that has been so helpful, but I still haven't mastered a system for me being alone with each kid every week. Story & I have it mastered because 3 days a week it's just her and I! We get lots of alone time.
How has your one-on-one time been this month with your kids? Have any great advice for me?
This one isn’t a struggle for me yet since we only have one child. But this blogger: http://johnson-mccormick.com/2011/03/the-first-of-our-first-fridays/ seems to have a really cool approach that I want to keep in mind for the future. I don’t think their alone times happen as frequent as you were hoping, but they are very intentional/special times. 🙂
It’s been good and bad…so just ok. I started out great, I was talking with each child every night by themselves…but now, it’s gotten busy. Like crazy busy. And we haven’t gotten into bed at a reasonable hour and they are exhausted and then we don’t get to talk. UGH! I hear ya. And alone, REALLY? This is crazy. I want to do thing individually with each child. Sigh…I want them to know how important they are to me!!!
I think this is a very difficult challenge! I have four kids as well, and to find that time every week is hard. One thing that my husband and I do is that we try to be more intentional in the seasons of life that are not as demanding. In the Summer, we let a different child stay up 30 minutes to 1 hr later with just us. (Sometimes it is both of us, sometimes it is just me or just my husband) All the boys love it!
We have also seen that in different stages that one child might need more one on one attention than the others. This was a struggle for me at first because I like to be “fair”, but I leaned into it and it has made those times more peaceful for everyone if the one is getting their needs met by individual attention.
I am definitely still trying to figure it out.
I have three kids and alone time with each of them, each week, is not realistic. Instead, I aim for a date with each at least once/mos. My husband, too, spends time alone with them here and there though he doesn’t set a specific goal. In addition to these purposeful dates, I get other bits of alone time with my kids when driving them somewhere, reading at bedtime, helping with school work, etc. And these times are meaningful too.
This is a tough one for me too. I only have two kids at the moment, but with my husband gone much of the time…it often feels challenging since it’s usually me and them. We do the simple trips to the store, or letting one of them stay up later than their sibling. I’m also going to try working on a little mommy and me scrapbook with them on those “late” nights. Hoping it will draw out intentional conversations as well preserve some precious memories! Be encouraged–your kids know you love and care for each of them in a special way, because of the little things you do for them and with them–like going to the bakery with Deacon! Simple, but so special to him!