Let me tell you there are lots of things I'm not good at. In fact sometimes those things seem to blare at me and can make me feel insecure. In these moments I literally have to remind myself that I'm not defined by any of them. That everyone has different gifts, and just because I'm not good at something doesn't make me any less, it just makes me different, and that's okay.
Not sure if I'm alone in this struggle, but in case I'm not, here are two ways my lack of decorating has forced me to find my identity in Jesus this past week. Also stick through to the end of this to see a great hair tutorial – of course it's not my hair tutorial, or it would just be about how to get a great ponytail in that won't fall out for three days, because I'm REALLY good at that!
Decorating woe #1
I'm a part of a bible study that meets each week and before we started this year they let us know that all of us are required to decorate our own tables. Just something to make them look nice so all of our girls will feel welcomed each week as we sit and discuss. No big deal, right?
I showed up to our first meeting with a table cloth that had bleach stains on it (I grabbed the wrong one), a few pieces of chocolate, and real mugs for all of us to drink coffee out of. I truly thought that the real mugs would make up for any other kind of lack of decorating I might encounter. What I saw when I walked into the room took my breath away. People had real flowers. People had signs with people's names on them around their table. Their table cloths actually fit their tables and none of them had bleach stains on them.
I immediately felt insecure.
Decorating woe #2
Then on Sunday, same story different event. I'm leading a group of women through STUCK each week and us teachers are in charge of making our room feel inviting and welcoming, because we meet in a school and basically you feel as though you are back in 8th grade history each time you walk into a class.
My strategy was to win them with snacks and not decor. I mean that would win me over! I brought snacks, waters, gum, and chocolate. Perfect.
Then of course I walked past another teachers room and good gracious it was beautiful. Table cloths, center pieces, snacks and it felt so much more welcoming than my room.
I joked after each of these times that I'm not a decorator, and so this will never work out of for me. If I'm completely honest with you all, I had to literally fight feeling insecure. I started to feel as though everyone was better than me and I suck. I mean really all I bring to decorate a table is a table cloth with bleach stains on it? Geez Jamie.
But the truth is that I'm not defined by the lack of decorations in my classroom on Sunday, and the other teachers aren't defined by how awesome theirs looks either. I'm not less of a person because decorating just isn't a strength of mine.
Also, what did I expect. Look at this balloon wreath that I started for Deacon's 6th birthday party. He'll be 9 in a few months. I got half way and never finished. This wreath has been in our closet for years waiting on me to finish it. I can't. I don't have it in me.
I'll never be a wreath maker.
I'll never be a classroom decorator.
I'll never have an awesome table if I'm in charge of it.
What's something you're just not that good at, but some of your friends are?
I think it's best to surround ourselves with people that do great things. We can learn from them! For example, my friend Tiffany is amazing with hair and makeup and most days I am lucky to have combed my hair at all. She's so good at it, and if I let myself I can feel “less than” when I'm around her, but that's not it at all. It's just her strength and not mine. Remember that time she did a makeover for Jen and I? Super fun. Also she just posted a hair tutorial on Noonday's website. Please tell me how awesome this is!
So friends … it's okay if you can't decorate a table, and it's okay if you can't do an awesome french braid because we are not defined by those things. I'm not a better person because of anything I do awesome, and I'm not a worse person because of anything I can't do. I'm a child of God, and that is a definition that I can live with!
And I'll just continue to be friends with those that can decorate and do hair and they'll be my helpers when I'm in need! Until then, I'm gonna continue to wear my hair in pony tails most days, and I'm gonna have pride in my table decorations no matter how I think they don't stand up to the others.
Because really at the end of the day eating chocolate and drinking out of real mugs is way better than a pretty table cloth!
So true Jamie! Thanks for the reminder. So many things to choose from, but clothes shopping is the first thing that comes to mind. It overwhelms me, always more important things to budget for… So I rarely love my clothes because they’re all so blah. Oh man, lots more things coming to mind, but instead of listing them I’ll just agree that I’m not defined by them but by the One who created me. 🙂
You always post something that “hits home”. So my daughters birthday was this passed weekend. I spent forever stressing about decorations. Finally, I stopped and thought does this really matter? The birtday is for a child and her friends, all they really care about is eating cake. It’s a constant struggle for me. My mom loves to decorate. My sister loves to decorate, so I feel like everybody expects me to decorate. But God did not design me to do that. I’m wonderful at other things, but not the decorating!
Cooking for people. I hate it. Mostly because I always screw it up. I don’t really dig hospitality either. I usually forget to ask people if they would like anything, and I go way overboard when it comes to cleaning my house before people come over. Then I remember that NOONE IS LOOKING FOR FOOD CRUMBS UNDERNEATH MY REFRIGERATOR. I appreciate your honesty. I do like to decorate so maybe I need to find a friend who can cook and tag team it!
Clothes! I usually look pretty blah and not put together. 95% of the time it doesn’t bother me at all but occasionally I can start to feel “less than.” I have been dealing with this issue this week and your post was very timely. Thanks!
I get this. I needed this right now. This for me, it’s potlucks. I can never get it right. Its overcooked or undercooked or the cake slides and has no frosting. This one time I thought that I finally nailed it…but I brought the same thing as a few other people so mine never got brought out to serve. So I will never be the girl who is called before a lady’s lunch and asked to repeat a dish I’ve brought before. I wouldn’t be mad or surprised if I’m ever called and told not to bother, I’m sure with a nice “we have enough food” explanation.
That familiar anxiety was beginning to start because there is a women’s ministry event this weekend and its :gasp: potluck.
This time, I’m going to own it and admit I have no place in my life for a crockpot. I’m bringing a bag of chocolates. And maybe some real mugs 😉
Jamie, I’m in your STUCK class, and I thought the room was beautiful. Also, I agree about snacks–snack are more important than how the room looks. I LOVEEEE FOOOOOOOOOD!!