Are there any other mom's out there that sometimes are jealous of their husbands?
Hear me out here …
My husband travels a lot for a living and while he is gone he eats out for every meal. Me, I'm cooking spaghetti and making PB & J sandwiches while he dines out.
He gets to sleep through the whole night with no babies waking up with runny noses, or wet b/c they've peed all over themselves. He doesn't have to change sheets or diapers in the middle of the night.
While he is gone he gets to mingle with lots of adults and most of the time has great conversations. I am happy to just get through the check out line at Target with out having to explain to the clerk why my children are yelling …. they are tired, of course!
While he is gone he gets to dress nice and look presentable. Today I wore the same t-shirt that I slept in last night all day long. I haven't combed my hair yet today and didn't even attempt any make up.
While he is gone the most he has to clean up is to put his clothes in the same area as his suit case so the housekeeper can clean up around him. Here at the house I cleaned two bathrooms today from top to bottom, cleaned up the kitchen three times today, and washed four loads of laundry.
While he is gone he only has to worry about cleaning his own body parts. Here I'm responsible for two little boys to smell clean for school tomorrow.
Okay, I know this sounds like I'm complaining, and actually I think I am. Let me explain though. Normally when my hubby travels he is only gone about 3 – 4 days at a time. Today this makes night #7 that I've been doing this on my own. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. The boys were actually in bed and asleep before 7:05! The sun isn't even down then!!!
If you keep up with my blog you know that it is not unusual for me to have these “down” days and then God ever so gently helps me get back on track. Most of my conversations with Aaron on the phone tonight were of me complaining about him being gone for so long and me holding down the house all by myself. After that as I was bathing my boys and sulking in my loneliness I thought of all the soldiers wives and husbands that literally do it all alone for months upon months at a time. I'm complaining about SEVEN days! Once again, I am sulking for nothing. I do have it really good.
Then the next thing that happened was when I was reading books with the boys tonight. I love this time. It is literally one of my favorite times of the day. Lately Little Boy has been very irratable at night. From about 4 until bedtime he only wants me to hold him and I just can't do that the whole time. BUT while we are reading I can hold him forever and he is so happy in my lap.
They each picked out their books to be read and all was well. Then we got to Big Boy's book and I sighed because I LOVE this book, but hardly ever read it without tearing up. Here this may ring a bell …
I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be.
Of course as I got to the end where the son is rocking his mama the tears began to flow.
That is when I realized how lucky I am to be the one at home with the boys. Aaron may get lots of other perks that I don't get now, but I think that I have the best deal.
I get all the kisses.
I get all the hugs.
I get to snuggle with my babies.
I get to lay on the floor with wonderful smelling boys in their brand new jammies.
I get the run and jump into my arms hugs.
I get to hear “mom, i like your shirt” 15 times a day.
I get the head of Little Boy resting on my chest as I rock him.
I get to listen in on the conversations that Big boy has with his toys while playing.
I get to see Little boy swing on the swing by himself for the first time.
I get to smell that baby morning breath every day.
I get to hear “i love you mom” over and over again all day long.
I get to read books to my boys every night.
I get to listen to sweet, innocent, heart felt prayers from a 3 year old!
You see once again, God has adjusted my thinking tonight and for that I'm greatful. Still very tired. But, oh so grateful!
good job !!! i am with ya on the day to day grind, but those kisses and hugs make it all worth while !!!
you have such a sweet heart-i absolutely love you.
hey… be thankful you have a husband to look forward to his coming home!! 🙂
good stuff jamie…
Thanks for the post…you are an amazing mother, wife and friend!
Oh I can so relate and it was great seeing your change of perspective. I’m about to hit the 3 months of summer that kill me every year. It’s hard having a husband who travels all the time!
I love this post.
I don’t ever want my husband’s life (too hard!), but I sometimes think about going back to work. I miss the feedback, the communication, the lunches with office girlfriends, and the paychecks.
Sometimes I feel like a nanny-slash-housekeeper, only without weekends off, holidays, or a paycheck.
But, as you pointed out, I have it good. I get all the kisses and snuggles, etc. I get to really know my son and watch almost every minute of his childhood.
Thanks for your awesome post – it was a great reminder!
at church this weekend, they had a video of one of the kids in our church (who memorized the WHOLE book) read that story. it was very moving. thanks for sharing.
we all need those attitude adjustments every now and then from our loving father. I’m probably due for one any minute now. :o)
My name is Melanie Barsoh. We met a while back when Spur 58 was in town at HFBBA. After reading your blog this morning I told Tim (our husbands are friends from HBU) that I think you and I could be good friends as I love your passion for motherhood and your love for our Lord.
I totally relate with your entry this morning about how tough yet awesome being a mother is! Your blog got me to thinking about all that God has been teaching me in this season of motherhood. Hope you don’t mind if I share.
With the birth of our second child I transitioned to being a stay at home mom in November of 06. It has been quite an adjustment for me but has been oh so good. Before I decided to stay home I questioned why it had to be me to stay home. I mean after all I went to college and worked just as hard as Tim did to get my degree. I was doing full time ministry just like Tim and loved my job….so why did it have to be me who had to stay home. As much as I was wrestling with these questions before God I couldn’t deny the tug on my heart to stay home but I wanted to make sure it was the Holy Spirit and not guilt as it is so easy to compare yourself to other moms around you. I didn’t want to stay home simply because it was the “Christian” thing to do or because I felt pressure from other stay at home moms. I wanted a vision for motherhood. I wanted to own this decision and asked God to make this real in my heart…to change my views of motherhood. Let me tell you he has done just that. I am realizing that being a mom is both the toughest job I will ever have and the highest position I will ever hold.
• The work is never done—it requires more time then the average day possess
• It requires more patience than the average person possess
• You don’t get time off
• You don’t get paid vacation
• You always work overtime
• You don’t get a pat on the back or a raise for a job well done
• You are never first but always last
• You don’t carry a fancy title like CEO or Director Of and the world does not esteem you
The sacrifice is steep…but the rewards are so great! No one on this planet can love my children the way I do. No one can fill this role except for me. Because of that, God is showing me that I am able to be the greatest influencer in the lives of my children. Wow!! That’s a huge responsibility and one that I don’t take lightly.
The Proverbs 31 woman sets a high standard for us all but what I am beginning to understand more and more is that over the course of our life God brings us through different seasons. I am convinced that she did all of those awesome things over the “course of her entire life” not all in one sitting. And with every new season she had different priorities. Some took precedent over previous priorities depending on the season that God had her in. The key for her as it should be for us is prioritizing!
Realizing this really helped relieve a lot of unnecessary stress as I struggled to balance it all career, family, etc… For me and my family we saw this season as a necessary time where my first and primary priority would be to be at home full time.
Today, I have a greater vision in partnering with God to raise little passionate followers that know, love and obey his word. What a great calling…it’s a different definition of success than what I’ve always known…and I’m constantly battling old voices in my head. But I am becoming increasingly aware that God wants to use this season of motherhood as the backdrop by which to “make a way in the desert,” to bring about “springs in the wastelands” of my life. I’m excited at where God has me and embrace this season with a surrendered and expectant heart!
It does my heart good to hear other moms who passionately love and seek the Lord in the midst of their joys and struggles through motherhood. Thanks for sharing…I appreciate your honesty! The next time you guys are in Houston would love to visit with you if you ever have the chance!
Melanie
Jamie–
I love seeing your perspective change from the beginning of the post to the end.
And I thought I was the only mom who cried when we read “Love You Forever”. We’ve read it dozens of times at the very least and it gets me EVERY time!
Being at home is THE hardest job in the whole world….I’m firmly convinced of that. But, oh, what a blessing for you!
Tears are coming down my face! I love you and your family!
I’m grateful that you all are a part of my life!
I was reading through some of your old posts (and looking for pics of your boys) and I had to comment on this one. Steal my heart! Wipe away the pool of tears now lingering around my feet. From one mama heart to another, I love you! You (I usually don’t say it this way) ROCK girl! You make me want to go grab my babies and love on them. I know the bitterness that can try to creep into our lives, even while we are living our hearts’ dream. My husband had a job loss over a year ago and we still haven’t recovered. He has been working seven days a week for A LONG TIME now. It is also mostly 3rd shift. I spend many nights alone, caring for six children. I have no family in town or out of town for that matter. I grew up w/out parents. His strength is truly perfected in us in our weakness. God has the power to help me to see the eternal blessing He has made children to be. God gives us many gifts and good things on the earth but only children are eternal. They are a gift we’ll enjoy for eternity. When I begin to look at them as a burden I cry out to God and He is faithful to renew me with strength. He causes my cup to runneth over with love.
Kara – thanks so much for your comment. I just read this post again and cried through it too, and it’s my life I’m reading about! 🙂
You are right. Our children are a gift and God does give us strength to get through this life.
Thank you for your reminder of the blessing of children as well.
:)Jamie