I go round and round with what to do with my children for the first few years of their schooling. I dread taking my child to kindergarten. I dread leaving them all day there without me there to protect them. Cayden started MDO last week and that was hard enough for me.

I worry that he will be made fun of. I worry that teacher will belittle him. I worry that he'll be bored. I worry that he'll fall between the cracks and not get a good education. I worry that he'll be too smart and not get the attention he needs (yes every mom thinks their child is a genius!). I worry … I worry … I worry.

Here are my reasonings for home schooling. I want to be the one to teach my child to love to read. I want to be the one to instill values into him. I want to make sure we have lots of family time. I want him to learn the birds and the bees from his mom and dad and not the 5th grader at the lunch table. I want to be there when he needs me. I want to love him all throughout the day.

Here are my reasonings for sending him to the local public school in our neighborhood. I would love the break during the day. Hey, I can be honest, right! 🙂 There would be diversity there. He would be around kids his age. He would hopefully have a great teacher that would be another great role model in his life.

Aaron and I are not on the same page about this. We are not in an argumentative state, but we just have different “ideals” for our kids schooling. We are both open to talking and praying about what to do. To be honest I'm very open to either. There is a great school here in Austin that would be great for us. I do school with the kids 2 days a week and he'll go to school 2 days a week. Sounds perfect to me! It costs money though, and it looks very “white”.

I met a mom today that sends her kid to the public school in our neighborhood. She made me at least think about public schooling for Cayden. Honestly when I think about sending my 5.5 year old to school it makes my stomach hurt. YES, I am that mom that wants to shelter her children. Not forever, just until they are grounded in who they are and a little bit older.

I value people when they say that their children are in public schools so that they can be “light in a dark world”, but I don't want to ask my 5 year old to be light in a dark world. Seriously is he ready for that? I don't want to home school forever either. I have no desire to school them at home until they graduate. NO desire for that! I want to send my kids to school to be “light in a dark world” when they are ready and I am ready. I want them to play sports and do activities in jr and high school. If you really want to know something weird about me, I hope that one of my kids plays some sort of college sport!!! I know it's shallow of me, right?! I will be THAT MOM (michael phelp's mom) at every game and be their biggest fan!

So, I'm once again debating in my mind about what to do next Fall. It seems so far away, but it will be here before we know it. There is an information meeting for the college prep school that interests me in November. I think that we'll continue to pray about this, go to the meeting and see what happens. I may even ask to meet with the principal at the local elementary school. Will she think I'm psycho?

Is this a dilemma for anyone else out there? I just can't take lightly the education of my children and the surroundings in which I place my 5 year old!

I'd love to hear how you came about deciding on how to school your children. Was it even a battle for you, or a simple easy decision? I am very torn over this and the last thing I want to do is hurt my child with either decision.

Home School for a few years and then public or private.

Public from the begninig.

Private all the way.

Home School all the way.

What did or do you do?