With a little over two months away from Christmas I thought I'd share how and why we don't do “santa”. Recently someone asked me how we handle Santa as they were worried about how they would explain all this to their two year old. I thought about it for a while and tried to go back and figure out when and how we told our kids about Santa.
Then it hit me, we never did. We don't really talk about Santa at our house. I know you're saying out loud, “but you live in America and he's everywhere” how did you not talk about it. Our kids know who Santa is, but they also know that he's pretend. They know he brings gifts, but he's never brought them any because he's pretend and their gifts come from mommy and daddy. They know Santa wears a red suit and you sit on his lap, but they also know he's pretend.
You see, when the kids were little we tried to start not buying in to the hype of Christmas. I try very very very hard to keep the hype about Christmas on our Savior and not on gifts, Santa, Christmas cookies and all the other junk that is hitting us hard each Christmas season. It is hard. It's hard for me. I have already been trying to find a date for my next Christmas Cookie Exchange that won't interfere with any other parties. I love Christmas parties. I love Christmas music. I love Christmas smells. They all bombard me for my time and attention, but I try so hard to not lose the “reason for the season”. (Oh wow that was cheesy, but I had to do it!)
So, if you are wondering how we do Christmas without Santa …. we just do it. My kids aren't depressed over it or sad b/c they are missing out. They have no clue. Santa is fun. We take pictures with Santa, but at the end of the day he's just Santa to us. Nothing more. Nothing special. Just a fat man in a red suit with a big beard.
*Please remember that this is our life and how we do things. If you do Santa we don't think one bit less of you. For the love we probably do things that would make you think we were the worst parents in the world! This is just our life and how we do “santa”!
I don’t think we’re going to do Santa either, but I am expecting some (minor) persecution for it from my family… 🙂 Oh well!
We don’t do Santa at our house either. We emphasize that Christmas is about Jesus’ birthday, so we make him a cake (or cookie cake) and sing to him. My children know that Santa is pretend, but that they are ONLY supposed to talk about that at our house as to not hurt the feelings of other children who do ‘believe’ in Santa. We do Christmas stockings, but they know they are from us. My husbands parents like to ‘do Santa’, so we call it a ‘game’ for Grammy.
Thanks for sharing how you do Christmas. I’m hoping to get an Advent thing going for sure. I just need to find a wooden ‘house’ with 24 doors/drawers in it to go with our Advent cards that I need to print and laminate….I’ll be stalking Hobby Lobby, Joanns, & Michaels over the next few weeks.
I love this! As a kid, our family didn’t do Santa either. People always ask me if I had a sad christmas/childhood as a result. The answer is always a resounding NO WAY!! We had amazing traditions that I will always cherish. Now with our son, my husband and I have been talking about how to “do this” since he was raised with Santa and can’t imagine not having that aspect of the holiday. I love your take on it. Enjoy the “fairytale/character” of Santa, but don’t take away from Christ’s birth. Love it. Great balance.
We never did santa either and our kids are 20, 17 and 13 and they were always just fine about it. We also never did the tooth fairy or easter bunny. We paid them for their teeth, and put gift bags (little stuff) out at easter. We did teach them not to tell their other friends so their friend’s parents could do whatever they wanted. We just told them that some people like to do this with their kids.
Amy
I didn’t grow up thinking Santa was real either – my family wasn’t anti-Santa, but he was just another “decoration” around Christmas time. I thought that Lee and I had discussed Santa and how we would handle this issue with our kids. It was a startling realization after getting our tree one year that we hadn’t…
I’m surprised at how much grief I take from some people about not doing Santa. But that’s okay with me. And I’ve asked my kids not to ruin the surprise for other kids (especially Bella!)
Virgina that’s a great way of putting it. We’re not anti-santa he’s just another decoration. i’m using that line for sure!
Jamie,
I love this! I am so over Santa….
PS-I have my fingers crossed that I can somehow come to the cookie exchange!!
Jamie, I just told Rilyn’s teacher at school that Rilyn doesn’t believe in Santa so that if she hears conversations in class that might get ‘sticky’, she can step in and steer the conversation. Public school teachers are taught that they can talk about Santa (a little)as long as they talk about all the different ways people celebrate Christmas (i.e. Kwanzaa, Hannuakah, Pier Noel…) The line we feed Rilyn and Ella is, “We pretend to believe.” Because it’s fun to think of stories like the Polar Express, we just know it’s not real.
i love that line “we pretend to believe”. we kinda do that with the tooth fairy and the backpack fairy!!!!
Hi Jamie, I read a lot but don’t think I’ve ever commented, but this is something I have been thinking about.
Since our son will turn 1 a few days before Christmas I don’t think it will be a huge deal this year, but a blogger friend of mine gave me a great idea that my husband and I have decided to try.
Since we don’t make a lot of money anyway and don’t want to spoil our son with a lot of presents that he doesn’t need and he probably doesn’t really want we are going not going to encourage Santa, yet we are going to talk about Jesus’ birthday and how he got 3 gifts when he was born so our son will get 3 gifts for Christmas. Since his birthday is right before Christmas it’ll even out I think.
We have already taken some heat from family about it calling us Fuddy-Duddy for not doing Santa, but I just don’t want to have to pretend with my son then it be over in a few years when he stops “believing in Santa” why not just be honest from the beginning?
I love and respect all of ya’lls comments…….but our family loves us some Santa!!
And Amy I love how you use Santa in your parenting during Oct, Nvo & Dec. nothing gets a kid to act better than threatening to send Santa a letter!!!!!! 🙂
The oldest of our four children is 10, and we have never felt comfortable with going “all out” with an elaborate Santa tale. This may upset some family members on my husband’s side of the family, but our children do not seem sad. We observe Advent, as well as many special saint days (especially St. Nicholas Day Dec. 6) and so they get lots of special holiday celebrating in before and during the Christmas season. I have never taken my kids to sit on Santa’s lap at the mall because that is altogether too much stress for me, as well as the cost and the idea of sitting my child on the lap of some completely unknown man…just not appealing to me at all. I never did it growing up, either, so perhaps that’s why I don’t feel inclined. As a child, my Santa presents were so obviously in my mom’s handwriting that it was always just fun and games for us. My sister and I never believed and never had to stop believing. We always knew Christmas is the celebration of Christ’s birth. That’s a pretty huge and amazing deal! 😀
My mother told me the true story of St. Nicholas. I never believed in Santa, but it was fun to pretend. I felt rather privileged because I knew the true story of a kindly man who left gold coins in the wooden shoes of poor children at Christmas.
I told my children the same story and we celebrated Christ’s birth. They liked to pretend about Santa and that was fine, too. I did receive criticism about not letting my children experience the ‘magic’ of Santa and that I was somehow stealing something precious from their childhood.
The fact is, my children never experienced a devastating moment where they realized their mother had been deceiving them for years. They also never wondered if they were really bad because Santa would bring tons of expensive gifts to the brats next door, while they only got thrift store and handmade gifts.
I always trusted my mother to tell me the truth. A lot of that trust came because she told me the truth when I asked her about Santa. That trust stayed with me my whole life. My sons are grown men and they also know they can always trust me to tell them the truth. To me, that is the best ‘magic’ a parent can offer her child.
I’m actually not a mom yet (not sure if I ever will be, though I want to be so desperately) but I’m not going to do Santa either – or the Easter Bunny or the tooth fairy. I really want my future children to out their faith in Jesus and not imaginary characters. I also really want to avoid encouraging greed/legalism by emphasizing the whole “if you’re good and play your part right you get stuff” because I want the holidays to inspire them to help others and have genuine faith, not simply act out religious rituals. That’s my thought, anyway
I totally understand that some families do not do Santa. What a big issue this could be and is to some. The Spirit of Christmas exisits and that is in all of us. Please hear me out. When you tell your child that their is no Santa they tell the children that do believe, and that is many, I just spoke with a mom the other day who told her child, 1st grade, their is no Santa. She asked the child not to tell the other kids but guess what! The next day that was ALL the child talked about to the other children. I have spent many times over the last years doing what I call ” damage control”. I have noticed that in our area of Christian upper middle class America more families are telling their children that there is no Santa but what they are not doing is filling the spirit with love, care and generosity for others. Yes, it all great that Santa is just a jolly fat man. In this Austin area, especially schools of diversity and cultures those children need Santas spirit. Not all children have loving; caring parents that give, care and nurish their. Holden all year. Those disadvantaged. Holden need Santa. They need his hope, they need his love and the need that belief that there is still something of love for them. We think it is such a Christian thing to give gifts and food over the holidays but we sometimes forget to share the Spirit. So if you must tell your child their is no Santa maybe you could explain about the Spirit and that all children in need will receive God’s love, weather it is from family, caregivers or strangers but everyone must believe that their is a Spirit or even Christianity will hold no hope for these children.
My personal view is our children believe in Santa. He does not come visit everyone. Lots of people believe in different things and Santa believes in Christ. He brings gifts because he is so excited that God gave us Jesus! As they get older we have talked about the Spirit of Christmas. What this means to others and how Santa’s love and spirit for Christ lives for all.
Please just remember your reason for telling your children there is no Santa, remind them to keep it private and tell them for lots of children in need their is a Santa!