Melanie Dale is a geek on a God-ride, a minivan mama and total weirdo who stinks at small talk. Her laugh is a combination honk-snort, and it's so bad that people have moved away from her in the movie theater. She adores sci-fi and superheroes and is terrified of Pinterest. Author of Women Are Scary: The Totally Awkward Adventure of Finding Mom Friends, she's also a contributor for Coffee+Crumbs and an advocate for Children's HopeChest. Living in the Atlanta area, she blogs at Unexpected.org about motherhood, orphan care, adoption, and sometimes poo.
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Links from the show:
- Her book: Women Are Scary: The Totally Awkward Adventure of Finding Mom Friends
- Melanie talking about her “mom balls” and “sitting shirt”
- Melanie's reading: Rachel Held Evans Year of Biblical Womenhood & she's recently read Bossypants by Tina Fey
- I'm reading (when we recorded this): The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins (I have finished and recommend!)
- Three things Melanie is loving: The Walking Dead + Skinny Scarves by Freedom in Fashion + The Kentucky Mule
Connect with Melanie:
Blog // Facebook // Twitter // Instagram // Pinterest // Youtube
Freebies:
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Hmmm, I guess I would say to just be intentional about it. People seem to be more open to friendship than I think they will be.
Find a Moms Bible Study.
Put yourself out there. You will not meet good friends sitting at home.
My best advice would be, be yourself. You want to make a real connection? show them your real self. If someone doesn’t “like” you that is there lose and try again!
If I ever have the chance, I love to try and befriend women who are married to men my husband likes. If it turns out to be a mom friend and a couple friend, that’s such a bonus!
I would say being genuine in your interactions is always helpful when trying to make friends. No one wants to “date” a potential friend only to find out you don’t actually have anything in common with them or that you don’t really get along with their personality.
I think just BEING a friend to others and being authentic is a great way to make friends. 🙂 (it definitely helps if they have a similar parenting style or other common interests!)
For me, I have to be in the mood to go to new places with kids! I’m so socially awkward that if I’m not in the right state of mind to be around other moms I embarass myself horribly!!!!
My advice for finding mommy friends is exposing vulnerability. None of us “has it all together.” Being open about the fact that you aren’t perfect and don’t expect other moms to be just puts them at ease.
I hope I win!! What a great opportunity!!! Thank you for the chance!
My best advice for finding great mommy friends to get involved, go to playgroups or church functions. Go to the stuff that is happening at your kids schools. Invite kids and their moms over for a play date. Go where the moms are and just talk and get to know one another. Share your life with them and you will be surprised at how quickly other moms are willing to share their life as well.
I have found some of my best friends over the years through my children – mostly from baseball.
I’m definitely not a pro at finding mommy friends yet. But one thing that has helped is going to the library. With my kids being young, there are often other kids around the same age who are there. When one of my kids finds a playmate (which, by the way, how come they can just go up to another kid and say “Wanna be my friend” but we can’t?), then I have a reason to talk to that kid’s mom. It’s a natural connection and we can use our kids as a reason to stay in touch. 🙂
I don’t necessarily have any great advice on finding mommy friends since I’m a new mom myself and figuring all this out too. I’ve found a few mommy friends lately by being involved in things that I enjoy (crossfit) and connecting with other moms there who have kids around the same age as mine.
My best advice for finding great mommy friends is to give compliments. If there are other women you are interested in being friends with compliment them on their kids clothes or how loving they are with their child. I LOVE when other women tell me they think I’m a great mom or how cute my daughter is. The next time I see them I smile or say Hi and a relationship can progress from there.
Ugh I am in that search right now…I find AWESOME mommy friends online but they never even live in the same state let alone near me. But I have these amazing friends I would never have without the Internet….from all over the world. And I’m a hopeless romantic, never giving up hope I’ll find my best mommy friend I can watch movies with, bingewatch the latest season of OITNB, chowing down I’ve cream with our margaritas! (If this sounds like your kind of fun you may apply to be my best friend lol)
Start a group! Take initiative! Don’t wait for others to ” nake the first move.” Just send an email out to a group with similar-aged children (could be from church, playschool, or just folks you met while out and about), invite 5 or more moms with their kids to a particular park, and be there on time to introduce. Now you’ve got a group, so make it a regular, weekly date! 😉
Finding great mommy friends isn’t easy. Be yourself and don’t be afraid to talk. You’ll find more things in common if you do. Find someone that has common goals, interests as you. Go to PTA meetings, gym, yoga etc. Being social is important for all women; even if we forget that while being surrounded by little people all day =)
Get involved in community activities. Invite someone over.
Share your love for life. Dont hold back
I’m so new to the whole finding mom friends scene, but I’ve had a few conversations on the playground. I usually find friends from church by scoping out who else has kids in the nursery 🙂
Can’t give advice on how to find mom friends just yet (due in August!) but I’m planning on joining a MOPS group to find other people in the same season of life – especially since we also just moved to a new area!
Be genuine in sharing with those you already know. Invite people over when you have a few open hours. Plan park day and invite lots of people. Just do it!
Find a Mom’s in Prayer group
Well, I’m not a mommy yet but I think the best way to make friends is to be intentional and vulnerable. The problem is that neither are easy and they both take effort.
Some of my best friends started out from random discussions on the sideline or gym bleachers watching a kids’ game. The camaraderie of a sports team is often as beneficial for me as it is for the player!
I would recommend a women’s Bible study group. I’ve found great friends through a community Bible study.
Jamie-
Great episode! I love Melanie’s humor. I’d love to hear Amy from the Bobby Bones show on the podcast. Thanks!