i have been bombarded lately with thoughts of faith. where is my faith? how much faith do i have? do i TRULY have faith in god alone?
while doing my bible study this week the commentary was talking about the lord's prayer. “give us this day our daily bread” (luke 11:3) has never made more sense to me than it does now after my trip to haiti. in this prayer jesus is showing us how to pray to god our father. what to say and what our hearts should be doing. we should be trusting god to meet our needs. honestly living in america it is very easy to trust everything BUT god to meet our needs. why do i even need god to meet any need? we have jobs. we have a nice house. we have two cars. we have a great grocery story where we get great food. we have great friends. we don't have a single physical need that can't be met within a mile from our house.
my commentary reminded me that the daily bread mentioned in jesus' prayer is reminiscent of the manna god gave to the israelites int he desert (ex 16:1-21). the people were told to trust god with their basic needs of food. he would provide exactly what they were to need for that day. what a concept? how hard that would be for me. i would constantly wonder if god had forgotten me or truly knew exactly what i needed. i would also probably be dissatisfied with what he did provide and wish i had something else.
Then yesterday in my god calling book i read this first thing in the morning … pray daily for faith. it is my gift. it is your only requisite for the accomplishment of mighty deeds. certainly you have to work,you have to pray, but upon faith alone depends the answer to your prayers – your works.
It goes on to say this … I give it to you in response to your prayer, because it is the necessary weapon for you to possess for the dispersion of evil, – the overcoming of all adverse conditions, and the accomplishment of all good in your lives, and then you having faith,give it back to me. HERE IS MY FAVORITE PART … it is the envelope in which every request to me should be placed. WOW! the last part stuck in my heart like a sword. how much faith do i have in what i request of god? how much faith do i use to accomplish god's work? how much trust do i have in god is what it comes down to.
when reading each of these items on faith my mind only went one place. i thought of a specific conversation that i had last week with two ladies who probably don't even remember this conversation, but it will forever be etched in my mind and heart. it was a lesson to me. a huge lesson to me.
while touring the rescue center in haiti licia and lori were showing me the baby room and the formula that they use for them. from what i remember it was special formula that they couldn't just go into PAP and buy so easily. they showed me what was left and mentioned that they only had a few more cases in the back. i gasped and probably had a look of horror when i asked them what they would do when it was gone. i was picturing starving babies and them stressing over the formula and losing lots of sleep. neither one of them seemed to care about my concern and they just said we know it will come. we can't worry over it because god always provides. they mentioned that they couldn't be there doing what they do if they didn't know that god will always provide. they said he always has so why should they worry about it. then we moved on to the next room. but i didn't. my mind was stuck on that silly formula. that conversation was life changing for me. i truly saw faith in action. i saw two ladies FULLY relying on god to meet their daily needs.
i'm moved to tears when i think about that kind of faith. i have been thinking a lot more about faith and how i desire to be a woman of faith.