About the worst thing that can happen to a woman while her husband's out of town is for her house alarm to go off at 2 am. This was me last week. FREAKING OUT. I actually happen to be up in Story's room when it went off, so I wasn't in a dead sleep when it happened, and I think that helped me to stay calm. Our alarm has been acting funny, but it's not so funny at 2am when your man is not there to protect you!
I got the alarm to stop blaring, tried to reset it and it wouldn't let me – oh joy – then checked all the doors and kids and got back in bed. I was wide awake. Did I mention it was so windy and stuff was all over my windows? Yeah that didn't help the situation for me one bit. I couldn't sleep. I was battling fear big time. I was having multiple conversations with myself over and over again.
“It's okay Jamie, there's no one here”
“Are you sure, why did the alarm go off at 2 am?”
“Who knows why it went off, but go to sleep, you are fine.”
Did I mention this is just me talking to … me?
Then it got real. Just that night some girlfriends and I had gone to dinner and my sweet friend Lindsey gave us all bracelets. She picked them out specifically for each of us. Mine said this “Do not be afraid, just believe” – she picked it out for me because I have struggled with fear before.
My conversation with myself continued …
“Jamie, DO NOT BE AFRAID, JUST BELIEVE”
“Oh the bracelet … yes I'm not afraid. I am going to chose to believe.”
“I'm choosing to believe and not be afraid.”
“I am not afraid.”
“Even if someone is breaking in, even if this alarm is for real. I will STILL believe. I have no fear because I have Jesus.”
“I believe.”
“I am not afraid …..”
Then sleep came to me. Right there in that bed I went from panic attack scared to sleeping soundly and believing that all was going to be okay. I didn't believe because I knew no one was breaking in, I made a choice to believe even if someone was breaking in that all would be okay.
Friends, I want to have faith that believes no matter what. If things are bad, I want faith to believe and not to fear. If things are good, I want faith to believe.
Lord Jesus, give us faith to believe. Do not let us be afraid. II Timothy 1:7 “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control”
I awoke at 5:45 AM this morning with a nightmare that someone was pounding on the door (I sincerely hope that no one was ACTUALLY pounding on the door and that’s what I heard). Anyway, my husband was out of town last night too and I couldn’t go back to sleep. I completely understand this fear and admire your faith!