Today marks the 3rd day we’ve been home with Amos and we still feel as though we are in a whirlwind. Some moments are so sweet and we just tear up all over again, and some moments are trying on us as we see the grief and pain that Amos is going through as he joins our family.
Adoption is one of the hardest things we have ever been through in our lives. It is this beautiful picture of redemption and love and acceptance and for all that I’m so extremely thankful and grateful. But on the other hand there is pain, grief and fear. We are overwhelmed at the fact that Amos is home. Our journey seems to be over and one aspect of it is for sure, but there is another journey that we are just now beginning.
Our journey to get Amos (and Story just three months ago) home has indeed ended. He is here. She is here. All my kids are here. I can’t explain the weight that takes off of my heart. Now we begin our journey of becoming a family. You see although Amos loves us and calls us Momma and Papa he surely doesn’t even begin to know what that is. You see he has never had a papa. For the first 9 months of his life we know that he was around his mom (for a while) and lived with his grandpa, who might be the sweetest old man I ever laid eyes on. We have never heard any mention of his dad. To him, we are the only momma and papa he has ever known. For the past 2 years he has lived with Licia, Enoch and their 3 boys and that has been his family. We are beyond grateful for the sacrifice of their family to have Amos and Story with them. They both came home with an understanding of family and that has been huge!
*Amos & Grandpa 2008
Amos has always had tons of people loving on him. He had Licia’s family, Lori & Charles, Mr. Zach, the nanny’s, teams coming in and out, Keverly, Anna, Caroline and many others, and now we need to teach him that we are his family. That we are a team. That we are never leaving him. That he is staying with us forever. He is a part of us.
Amos is very attached to Aaron. He has asked him every day if he is going to leave him. I believe in his heart he has to have so much fear that this will end up like every other visit with Aaron has. Papa comes for a week and they have a great time, but Papa always leaves. We have always left him. He has to learn and trust us that we are never leaving him again.
We know that our BIG BIG GOD is going to do miracles in this little boys life. We are praying that God would heal his heart and mind. We are praying that God would bond us together quickly. We are praying that our kids will bond together and realize that we’re all on the same team. We are praying that God would guard our minds and hearts against uncertainty and fear.
So …. if you live here and want to come visit, we ask that you wait a bit as we all adjust. We are trying to be very intentional about visitors in and out of our house. We are so grateful for all the love and support that everyone wants to show our family and Amos, but we are putting our family first and asking that we keep it just us for a while. I hope that you understand our heart behind this. There will be plenty of time for everyone to come and party with us and Amos, but until you hear from us we’re hoping to spend lots of time with just “us”!
Whenever we do make our way out and about and to church you will be blown away by this kid. He is hilarious! He is cute! He is sweet! He is affectionate! He is a joy! HE IS HOME!
*Thanks Catherine Garza for these pics!