Tonight as my mom and I were driving with the boys, Big Boy yelled for me from the back seat. Out of nowhere, he said, “mommy, are you going to be D's mommy?”. I said yes I will and you'll be his brother, and then he said “okay”. That was it. End of conversation.
It showed me that he was thinking about it while we were driving. The other day we had a talk about adoption with him. You never know how difficult a concept that is until you try to explain it to a 3 year old. We told him that D did not have a mommy and a daddy to love him and take care of him, so we were going to be that to him. He was going to live with us and be in our family. He acted like he understood and I didn't think he did, but tonight proves that he is thinking about D and his need for a family.
I like having these talks with our kids, because adoption is a part of our life. We support many organizations that deal with adoptions, we have a son who is adopted domestically and now we have son that will be adopted internationally when he comes home eventually. We want adoption to be a good word, and not a hush-hush word. We want all three of our boys (and any other children in our future) to know that they are loved equally and passionatly by their mommy and daddy, no matter how they joined our family.
People sometimes ask how we're going to tell Little Boy he is adopted, and I hope that he just knows. That he is comfortable with all of our discussions that we have always had about it. Yes, we'll have to tell him his story little by little as he gets older, but to tell him he was adopted, he'll always know, because we will always be talking about it.
We have 2 pictures up in the boys room that includes our family and Little Boy's birth mother. I love these two pictures, and Little Boy knows everyone's name in that picture, even his first mom. The mom that sheltered him for the first 9 months of his life. He doesn't know the situation, but he knows her by name and that brings a BIG SMILE to my face.
So, yes I'll be D's mom.