Today we met some of our favorite friends at the Farmer's Market and had a blast. As my friend and I were standing in line to get breakfast tacos for all of our hungry munchkins I overheard her son ask Deacon and Amos if they knew who their real dad was. I stopped and listened in anxiously awaiting what my boys would say.
I wasn't upset one bit about it, and actually told my friend not to get on to him. I love when kids are honest, and her son knows my kids are adopted, and he actually stood at the bottom of the escalator when we brought Amos home with signs welcoming him home to Austin. He has seen kids become family and no longer orphans and he had a very good question to ask them.
I was really curious as to what my boys would say. We talk about their first families often and they know the names of their first moms and know that we don't know anything about their first dads. It's a hard concept for Deacon a lot of times, but one that can't be changed and we just have to learn to trust God through it.
So there it was, the big question in the air:
Kid: “Do you know your real dad? Like the one before you were adopted?”
Deacon: shrugging, “no”
Amos: very confident “yeah, God”
I could have picked that kid up and swung him around right then and there. God. He said his real dad is God. Love that so much!
I know that this question will be asked of my kids 100 more times by their peers, mostly not out of meanness, but simply because their friends are just curious. They will probably use the word “real” instead of “bio” or “first”, but I don't care, what I do care is that my boys are confident that yes indeed God is their real dad and he is their provider, comforter, and the best real dad they could ever have.
Tonight I'll snuggle up in bed with my boys and talk with them about that conversation and ask them how it made them feel. This won't be the last time they face that question, and it's okay. It is okay. I'll tell them some ways they can answer it, but most of all I'll remind them of our God who perfectly placed our family together just how he saw best. I'll remind them about the love that God has for them and the love that I have for them. I'll remind them that they can talk to us anytime about feelings they might be having.
Then I'll go to bed and remind myself of who my real dad is.
Gosh I love my boys.
I found your site through a website highlighted on an adoption support website. Jeremiah one project? Anyway, my husband and I are currently going through classes and we just highlighted adoption conversations with our kids. This post was great timing and brought tears to my eyes. I am encouraged and hopeful. Thank you.
Oh, I kinda just burst into tears! My [adopted] son is too young to receive or get those questions yet, but I get them, and they still make my pulse race, even when the motive is pure. Thanks for sharing this precious story. What an encouragement to my soul!