I’ve been writing each child’s adoption story slowly but surely. Amos & Story’s are pretty much summed up in my blog, but I’m going back to write Deacon’s since it was pre-blogging for me.
As I think about things lots and lots of emotions come up. Usually they are sad. Adoption is so hard. My stomach literally turns when I hear people glamorizing it. It is so not glamorous. It is messy and it is hard.
Oh don’t get me wrong, I believe in it and love it, but for us right now it is still raw and hard. I have several things to write about that are going on right now in our home. Attachment takes time. Sometimes I look at Amos and see a kid that loves his family and is content. Other times I look at him and feel as though he doesn’t know where he is or even if he fits in. Sometimes his eyes reveal joy and sometimes they reveal emptiness.
Until I get the courage to write my thoughts and emotions out I want you to read these two posts that I have read this week. They are good. Much better than I could say. Read them and remember these kids that have had their worlds turned upside down. Yes they are in a family, but it is still a long road for them.
Thankfully we serve a God who is the master creator, and can handle me bringing my fears and anxiety to him. Daily I’m bringing this to him. He is my provider and I will rely on him. I beg God daily to heal Amos’ heart, for only he can. I believe he will.
“messy” by Jodie Howerton
“talking attachment & adoption” by Debra Parker