I've been writing each child's adoption story slowly but surely.  Amos & Story's are pretty much summed up in my blog, but I'm going back to write Deacon's since it was pre-blogging for me.

As I think about things lots and lots of emotions come up.  Usually they are sad.  Adoption is so hard.  My stomach literally turns when I hear people glamorizing it.  It is so not glamorous.  It is messy and it is hard.

Oh don't get me wrong, I believe in it and love it, but for us right now it is still raw and hard.  I have several things to write about that are going on right now in our home.  Attachment takes time.  Sometimes I look at Amos and see a kid that loves his family and is content.  Other times I look at him and feel as though he doesn't know where he is or even if he fits in.  Sometimes his eyes reveal joy and sometimes they reveal emptiness.

Until I get the courage to write my thoughts and emotions out I want you to read these two posts that I have read this week.  They are good.  Much better than I could say.  Read them and remember these kids that have had their worlds turned upside down.  Yes they are in a family, but it is still a long road for them.

Thankfully we serve a God who is the master creator, and can handle me bringing my fears and anxiety to him.  Daily I'm bringing this to him.  He is my provider and I will rely on him.  I beg God daily to heal Amos' heart, for only he can.  I believe he will.

“messy” by Jodie Howerton

“talking attachment & adoption” by Debra Parker