Dear Single People,


I’m sorry.


Before you take this the wrong way, I want to tell you what I’m sorry for.


Earlier this week, I had an interview where someone asked me what my hope is for my kids and their future marriages.


I understood the question and the intention behind it, but I couldn’t answer until I started with this one word.




IF they get married.


More often than not, the Church and our Christian community don’t start here. And we should. I think for too long, and maybe without realizing it, we have been sharing messages about marriage and singleness that are not rooted in truth.


We have elevated marriage and parenthood above so many things that it has contributed to our community striving for that, believing that you have arrived or made it, instead of striving to chase Jesus where we are RIGHT NOW.


Here are a few myths that I want to set straight with anyone reading.


MYTH #1: Marriage is everything.


Marriage is not and will never be the ultimate thing in life. Yes, I love my husband. Yes, I’m grateful for our marriage and this life. But I’m 100% confident that marriage is not for everyone.


Do you know what is for everyone? Jesus. And with Him, we already have more than we need.



MYTH #2: Marriage will complete you.


This one can be hard because people often say it with good intentions. But God never promised that marriage would be a part of everyone’s story. What He did promise us is that He is more than enough. And suggesting that we are not complete until marriage is suggesting that He is not enough.


Jesus is enough. Always has been, always will be.



Myth #3: Marriage is when life begins.


Lean in close, friend. God has not forgotten you. You can absolutely fulfill what He has called you to do. You are not beneath anyone.


You are just as much of an asset as anyone else and you bring something wonderful because of who you are, not because of who you’re with.




So here is where the “I’m sorry” comes in.


I’m sorry when I, or we, or anyone has ever made you feel like your life doesn’t start until you have a ring on your finger.


I’m sorry when anyone has ever made you feel like your contribution to our world and church and society doesn’t matter.


I’m sorry when anyone has made you feel less than.


I’m sorry when anyone has made you feel that you don’t have a place here.


Your life has already started.

Your contribution matters.

You are not less than.

You have a place here.