Dear Jamie in 1998,
You are in such a weird place right now in your life. You have moved back home and honestly who wants to have to do that. It was the best choice for your life right now, and you know that, but you feel so awkward. None of your other high school friends got pregnant in college and had to move home. Everyone else seems to be doing just fine. Except for you.
Your parents are going to a new church now, and it's hard for you to go. There's something in your heart that years for it, but you feel like that misfit. You feel like Hester Prynne with a big “P” on your chest for pregnant. You feel as though everyone thinks you are awful and unworthy. Everyone there seems so “good” and put together. The college group is not really your thing and you are certain everyone hates you.
Here's what I want you to know. They don't hate you. No one knows you. You don't let them know you. Bless your heart you are so scared to let them know you, because you don't truly have a grasp of the gospel yet. You see you are still living in a world where bad stuff = bad person, and I want you to know that bad stuff = God's grace. There is so much grace for your life, and you aren't willing to accept it or give people the chance to offer it.
Be brave Jamie. Let them in. Allow people to know you and love you for who you are.
It will be years before you do this, but when you do you will experience so much freedom. There's freedom in truth and grace. Go after that freedom sooner than later, because it will set you free.
Jamie in 2013