Tomorrow marks 2 weeks from the night we flew to Orlando to get our son. I honestly had to look that date up because I thought it was a lot longer ago. Isn't it weird how sometimes time feels different than it truly is. On one hand it seems like he's been here for a month and on the other hand I feel like he just showed up yesterday.
We have had lots of good days and in each of those days there are some hard moments. We expect them and know that they will be there. Our son has been through a traumatic event and then was picked up out of the only “home” he's ever known and he shows up here. I get his frustrations.
We are showing lots of love and lots of guidance. He is such a sweet heart and when you meet him you will know that as well. I know already that he will want to be the life of the party. He loves for you to laugh at him. He dances just to get a chuckle from us and he always does!
Tonight we were praying and he prayed for the first time. So far he has just wanted to repeat what we say, but tonight he took it and I could hardly hold myself together. He prayed, “God, thank you for home.” Oh my word I get tears in my eyes thinking about it all over again. Thank you for HOME.
Today was the first day that he has really played with the boys. He has followed them around and jumped in every once in a while, but for the most part he would want to be at either mine or Aaron's feet. He hasn't been into the “playing” thing for long periods. Today they played. It was super cute and I was a proud mom. I am still having to remind Cayden and Deacon that they need to invite him to play. They have been a team for the past four years and someone is now invading that. For the most part they have done great, but sometimes I feel as though Amos is the 3rd wheel. Today I was so pleased to see them all three playing together and truly enjoying each other.
We took Amos out to eat for the first time today. Where else would we go, but Chuy's! That's where Fedna had her first out to eat meal, and Story as well. We kinda have a theme going here. He loved it and devoured the rice and beans that we always get for the kids.
Tomorrow I'm taking the kids to the Verge conference for a bit to watch Aaron play and then to do lunch with daddy. This will be Amos' first time around a big group of people and honestly I'm very nervous. Sometimes I think he's ready and other times I'm not so sure. Yesterday someone brought us a meal and their 4.5 year old daughter came in and I thought Amos was going to attack her. Not in a bad way, but I thought he would smoother her with kisses. He would not stop hugging and kissing her. It was weird. You are saying, oh that is so cute, but to me it isn't. You see he just met her. Does your child smoother a child they just met with kisses? We are having to teach Amos boundaries. He has always had people in and out of of his life that have loved him so much, but we are wanting him to give us all that love. It's almost as though he doesn't know and/or understand the love that is shared within a family. Does that make sense?
Amos has fabulous manners. If we're eating and someone doesn't tell me thank you for something he will call them out on it! He keeps calling both boys Cayden. That is cracking me up! He also keeps calling them his friend. Our next phrase to work on is brothers and what all that means.
I tell Amos every day that he is my favorite Amos in the whole wide world and that I will never leave him. He gets to live with us forever and this is home and these are his brothers and sister. I look forward to the day when he responds to my statements with something that shows me that he gets it. That he truly gets it. We are his and he is ours. We are a family.
Jamie, your story absolutely makes this heart smile. God is so faithful and your family is proof of that! I think you understand Ephesians 2:10..”prepared good works in advance for you to do”..because you are shining so bright for our King!
your family is in my prayers each day.
Thank you so much for being open about this. Just yesterday, driving home from work, I was wondering about you guys and wondering what small daily difficulties and hurdles you were facing. I thought “I hope she blogs about those things” as I let my mind wonder to when we (hopefully) adopt and felt some fear creep up. Then, just a day later- here you are with this wonderful post. And yes, what you’re saying about Amos’ boundaries with love and affection makes total sense.
He is so precious. I totally get the stranger thing. Our twins do that…just walk up to anybody,sit on their lap, and love on them. We have set that boundary up and not allowed them to do that. Even after being with us for almost 10 months now they are still tempted to do this. They just attach to anyone. Our Joey always is the most thankful too and he always is so thankful he has a family. It makes your heart happy!
I love his smile!
I love these stories you share, and Amos prayer! Wow. Beautiful pictures of your beautiful boy!
Much of what you are sharing in regards to Amos makes sense to me. Our daughter, who is now 8 was close to 5 when coming home from China. On one hand, her ability to love truly was amazing, given her circustances in life up to the day we met. She truly is a survivor. The paragraph which really resonates with me in this post is the one where A was all about hugs on the little girl who stopped by. Our daughter would hug ANYONE upon arriving home, and, I do mean anyone, workmen w/in our home, the UPS man who rang the doorbell, it became very obvious and, honestly, uncomfortable to me all the unknown people she was hugging on!! We, knew right away to set boundaries, too. At first, on one hand, I knew it was necessary, yet, on the other hand, I wondered why we can’t all be so open to welcoming one another….our daughter, also, quickly learned to say “I love you” it was spoken word to her the moment we met, and, well, she would say this to any person she met, too….UPS man, workmen….all teachers at school…anyone and everyone, generally backed up with a hug. Part of me just wanted to be able to smile and say wow, she is so loving and open to love, we should all be this way, but, the other part of me would step in and begin to set the boundaries. Complicated for sure.
Our daughter has been home now three years. All the above has long gone away. She does not hug strangers:) and, somedays, I do miss that sweet innocence that would remind me we are all to love unashamedly, and, yet, looking back, seeing her need just for ANY physical contact and reassurance of her little self is enough to just have me sit this side of the computer screen and understand each and everyword you are walking through.
Thanks for sharing these moments with us. It is so inspiring to read and experience these times as your explain with such emotion and expression. Praying that God continues to guide you and Aaron as you walk this journey together as a family. You are so blessed – and the children you have are blessed to have you and Aaron as Momma and Pappa. I cannot tell you enough how very happy for you I am. Thankful to have met you through Bethany years ago and to be able to get these updates!
Hey Jamie, these stories mean the world to me as we prepare to adopt an older child. Thanks for sharing it ALL – the blessings and the challenges. Praying for you guys!
I found your story from a friend on Twitter, and have started following your blog and just wanted to leave a note. I have loved to read about your story and have been very encouraged by it. Adoption is something I have always been interested in for further down the road, and I’ve enjoyed hearing your story. So thanks for the updates!
Thanks for stopping by Maddie. Hope you enjoy your time on my blog!
Thanks Dawn! I’m so excited for you guys! Let me tell you some days are amazing and other days I’m asking God for guidance minute by minute. Today is one of those days. I’m so in love with this boy and he has been hurt so much in his life. One thing I do know is that I am a believer in our God’s mighty powers and I’m confident that this little boy is going to love Jesus, serve Jesus and tell others about Jesus.
So excited for you guys! Overjoyed for you guys!
Diane – This comment made my day today. Thanks for sharing your story and for giving me hope that one day Amos won’t shower the next door neighbor wtih all the love that is for me! 😉
Hi Jamie- So glad to see the Ivey family COMPLETE!!!! We also had and still have boundary issues with Alivia Wislaine. I think it might be from the life they led in the orphanage. Everyone that visited/lived at the orphanage was safe but there were many people in and out of their lives all the time. Other missionaries, teams, etc. It is hard for them to understand that not everyone around us, i.e. at the mall or grocery store, is a safe person or want to be bombarded with a little ones hugs, kisses and questions. We would be at restaurants and she would just go up to someone and sit on their lap!! I think we have mostly gotten over that but it is still difficult for her. They are so used to everyone loving on them in Haiti that they can’t imaging that everyone here isn’t the same. Some people would look at us like we had 4 heads when she would do some things but it just takes time and patience. So glad for all of you!!!
The Fox’s in IN