I have read too many blogs to count where adoptive parents mourn another holiday passing without their kids home.  We have not encountered one of those holiday's yet, but once Christmas 2008 gets here we will begin those dreaded holiday's.

No where in my mind do I think that my kids will be home by Christmas.  That is 9 months away and just not practical.  The reason that will be our first holiday to mourn is because when we started this process in September of 2007 that was our hope.  We were hoping and praying for Christmas of 08.  I have said that so many times when people ask when we hope to have them home.  I do not say that anymore.

This past weekend at the Easter service we attended in Austin I was brought to tears while thinking about my kids.  My hope is now that they are home before Easter 2009.  I checked and that is April 12, 2009.  That is 12 months away.  It would be a miracle, but hey I can dream right.  God can do big things.

This is the holiday in my mind now that I will dream about every day.

I will dream about dressing all four of my kids in matching clothes.

I will dream about the first Sunday we all go to church together.

I will dream about the first breakfast we eat at home together.

I will dream about the first night in our own home.

I will dream about putting Amos and Story in their jammies after a bath.

I will dream about the first time I tuck all three boys into bed in one room.

I will dream about the first time I put a bow in Story's hair.

I will dream about our first trip to the beach.

I will dream about Amos and Deacon playing soccer on the same team.

I will dream about Story wearing cute dresses with her initials on the collar.

I will dream about our first Thanksgiving together.   first Christmas.  first birthday's at home.

I could go on and on.  I know all of you waiting parents could do the same.  These thoughts never leave my mind.  I am constantly dreaming of all the firsts we will have with our kids.   I am constantly dreaming of these kids being here in my arms.  I am constantly thinking of them.

I am constantly dreaming.

Jamie Ivey