Ever have one of those weeks where you don't even feel as though you are yourself. You lay in bed at night and wonder who you are and where did your “normal” self go. You feel as though you are walking in a fog throughout the day and only put on your “happy” face when you go out of your house. You yell at your kids and then wonder who that was that just snapped at them for doing something that is not that bad – I mean they are 3 and 1, so what should I expect.
I have had that week. I lay in bed at night and cry to Aaron, just asking him what is wrong with me. Why can't I snap out of it. I don't want to hang out with anyone, I just want to stay home and be sad. But why? I have nothing to be sad about. Nothing bad has happened to me to make me feel this way. Everything is good. No one is sick. Why can't I get out of this slump.
I have started realizing that my mind is getting the best of me. I am beating myself up. I don't even know why, but I think it is in my head. Today my bible study was about Satan getting in your head and making you think you are not what you truly are. The truth is that God has designed me and created me to do great things. He has allowed me to bring up two boys to love him (I'm working on this) and to teach them about Christ and what he has done for me in my life. God has changed my life. He has given me a second chance. He has forgiven my sins and believe me there are many.
So, after all that what do I have to make me hang my head down low. Today I decided that I need to combat this in my head. I need to believe that God has big plans for me. I sometimes devalue my role as a mother and wife. I sometimes allow Satan to convince me that I'm not good enough and that my life doesn't matter. I will not allow this to happen to me. I am desiring more than this right now.
My husband has been a hero to put up with me these past few days. He is comforting, and giving me my space and not pushing me for any answers. He is a jewel. I love him and am so grateful for him.
I made a choice today – I will be happy. I will not allow the evil one to defeat me. I will allow God to lavish me today with his love. I will accept his love. I will be joyful because of what God has done for me.
** It is also my time of the month,so this could play a small part in my problem.
I will be praying for you! I do know two things and I do not “know” know you. You are a fabulous mother and a very loving wife. I have never seen a wife love on there husband so much and you do so so much through this blog, I can only imagine what it is like for him. I know that he has to value that. Keep on keepin on and pushing that devil out of your mind. You are beautiful and your kids are beautiful and your family as a whole is beautiful. I will be praying for all of you.
P.S. maybe we should get a “long run” group together and sometime throughout the week, do a long run all together in Murfreesboro (Sat. mornings or Sunday afternoon — it would be hot then). I am only up to 2 miles on my own at this point but group runs keep me goin longer! Just let me know!
The Bible verse I had embroidered on my computer bag is one that I have to try to think of CONSTANTLY! James 4:7-8 FLEE FROM ME SATAN, DRAW NEAR TO ME LORD! Don’t let satan get a strong hold, STRONGLY HOLD to GOD! And of course, know you are so loved and thought so highly of…you are awesome, my friend!
Don’t have any wise words execpt to say you aren’t alone. I think we SAHM’s can get down from time to time. I know I don’t feel like I’m contributing to things in our family since I no longer contribute financially. In light of our momentary stuggles I think it can be easy to get into a slump. One thing I always do is look back on where God has brought us from and to and all the times he has cared for us in the past.
I find myself in slumps and can’t figure out why. It’s then that I realize i need to get out of the house and do something productive. Maybe getting your sewing machine will help with that 🙂
I’ll keep you in my prayers and you can do the same for us 🙂
ah yes…the all familiar…blah days. I think we all have them.
We were made for hugeness and sometimes the boredom of everyday”ness” gets in the way. My post “it” was posted on one of those days. It is one of my favorites.
The hugeness is there even if we don’t see it. God is doing a good work even on the most boring days. That is what I have been clinging to.
Oh I have had so many of these days and they will always come and go. One thing that has been huge is having truth speaked over me. Dave normally takes that role since he is the one that is normally there when I hit those days. I can be such a “feel” person that when I “feel” like something then I believe it to be true. And what it has taken is for me to be told what is “true” and not what I “feel”. When I get in those slumps it normally takes 10 minutes of Dave going down the list of how bad my life is… And then we end up laughing because in reality it’s not bad at all. It’s just how you look at it. The perspective you use. Anyway.. good to know I’m not the only one who has those moments more often than needed. Just remember to choose truth over feelings. Even though that is hard to do when you are in the middle of feeling like you are having a very bad day!
Join the club! When I feel that way, I will remember to pray for you…then maybe I’ll remember to pray the same for myself! Hormones are a pain too! I’ve been feeling pretty much the same way, but I finally pulled myself off my “survival” meds after Katrina. I’m trying to readjust. That and I’ve been hormonal myself. I will pray for you as this is something I think of more often these days too.
We all go through times like this, some of us (me) more than others. I’ll add you to my prayer journal. Call me if you want to talk. I love you girl!
Its amazing how we can hang out with our closest friends and never ask the right questions to each other. I ask myself immediately, “Maris, how did you miss all of this going on with Jamie, and why are you not asking your friends how they REALLY are?” I know friends don’t always want to talk but we can’t help each other if we don’t talk! There are so many times Jamie that I go through these same emotions and never say a word. When the guys are out of town I never make the call to hang out when I need it the most. Please don’t ever doubt the impact you make on people’s lives. Some people follow in this life and some people lead- you my sister are a leader. I love you more than words can say.