When Amos came home and I was a new mom to four kids I asked you guys for advice and you all rocked it. So now, I'm coming to you again to ask you for any tips about being a working mom.
- How do working moms get it all done? Laundry? Dishes? Lunches? Cleaning? I always feel as though when I get home that I can't jump right in to all the “chores” of housework b/c I've been away from my kids all morning. Do you guys do laundry on a scheduled day? I have always hated that idea, but now I'm entertaining the idea.
- Getting up early has been hard. Any of you out there have to get up in the 4o'clock hour? I am at work by 5:30 which means I'm usually up by 4:45. If you do this, how long until my body adjusts?
- I haven't worked a job since before Cayden was born. I mean I worked 2 days a week at a preschool (where my kids were) and for a while I taught at a tutorial, but working 6 hours a day, 5 days a week is new to me. How do I get it all done?
What are your best tips for me. From one working mom to another, how do you get it all done? How do you spend great time with your kids? How do you keep your house in order? How in the world do you get the laundry done?
*Some super cute kids at one of our favorite restaurants, Phil's Ice House!
lol Well, sometimes stuff doesn’t get done, and you just have to accept it. Otherwise, I do things on a pretty tight schedule. I also have my kids in bed by 7:30 every day, which leaves some time in the evening to get stuff done, too. I get up at 4:45 every day, as well, so I know how hard it is to adjust. We do dishes every day – Mike helps with this. Actually, Mike helps with pretty much everything so that really is a big bonus. I also do a lot of pre-planning. For instance, I lay out the kids clothes for the entire week on Sundays (and do all my ironing then, too). I also make lunches the night before. Sometimes I even cook breakfast the night before (like making cinnamon rolls or muffins). All of that really cuts down on the morning chaos. 🙂
Its tough to say the least! I feel like I can never do it all. My main priority are my girls and husband! From the moment i get home to the time the girls go to bed, im full mommy mode- no chores other than cooking a quick dinner! I am super blessed to have sitters come to my house. Since I’ve been working full time (about 3 weeks now), I’ve only had to do dishes on the weekends! The sitters have been super sweet to do that for me. And my amazing husband has been sweet enough to take on cooking sometimes.
I tend to do all the heavy cleaning on Saturday mornings…and grocery shopping..and most of the laundry gets done on Saturdays too! I try to cram it all in, so I have the rest of Saturday and Sunday to be completely carefree with them!
Hang in there! You’ll find the rhythm that works best for you and your family!
Girl, I understand what your feeling. I was a ‘married, single working mom’ for a year. What this means is that Gabe and I worked opposite shifts, so the kids and I got up and went to my work (at a daycare) and Gabe went to work before we got home. Here’s what I did and still try to do, just to help my life no quite so overwhelming.
I set up a ‘chore’ chart for myself…I do laundry on Mon and Thurs, bathrooms on Tues, Floors on Wed, and dusting on Fri. This doesn’t always work, but it helps keep me a little accountable and not be so overwhelming. I also incorporated the kids to help too…they fold the towels and help clean one item in the bathroom (Perryn gets the toilet and Teagan gets the bathtub). I also have them put their own clothes away and help with the dishwasher and the trash. When we work on things a little each day it usually doesn’t take us longer than 30min-an hour to get it completed.
As far as cooking, we did A LOT of crock pot meals. I either put it on before we left and it was done when we got back OR I put it on overnight and dished it up for lunches before we left in the morning. I did fail at meals a lot because I was SO TIRED that we often just stopped through a drive thru lots of nights.
On your schedule, Gabe keeps the SAME schedule 7 days a week (he works 3pm-11pm). It is MUCH easier on his body to do this…so even on the weekends, we don’t see him until 12pm. You might think about keeping your weekday schedule even on the weekend, and sneaking in a nap if you can. Your body will probably adjust to it a bit faster if you do this.
Hope this all helps. You are doing GREAT on the radio, we really enjoy listening to you. Have a great week.
Can you afford to hire someone? If someone is at home with Story they should be able to do dishes, laundry, clean the house, and even make dinner. I worked as a nanny for years and that’s all part of the job. I fulfill all of the mom/wife duties while the mom is gone. Also, a lot of the mom’s I have worked for have become BFF’s with the crockpot! Super easy, dinner is ready when you get home. Other ideas: Have the kids sort their dirty laundry into Whites/Lights/Darks hampers so you don’t have to do it. And have them fold their own laundry even if it doesn’t look good! One more thing (stole this idea from the family I nannied for w/6 kids) if ANYTHING is left out (by children or husband!) at the end of the day it goes into a basket and they have to pay (with allowance money or extra chores) to get it back! Might sound a little harsh, but you are a WORKING mom with FOUR kids. You don’t have time to pick up after everybody!! Hope some of that helps!
I work at home with the stuff I do for the mission and sometimes it’s hard to juggle it, to be honest. I wish I had an “office” where I could go and get a couple of concentrated hours of work separate from home stuff, but this is what it is right now.
I tend to keep chores for M-F because I want to relax and spend time with the family on the weekends. I usually run a load of laundry first thing in the morning and get it on the line. I always fold stuff right off the line so I just have to walk it to the respective room to put away.
I’ve started doing a monthly meal plan for dinners. I know a month sounds crazy, but it actually works! We’ve been going in to Port au Prince once a month for doctors appointments (I’m expecting) so I do our major shopping then and the lady that works for us does our fresh veggies and fruit once a week. The advantage to the meal plan is that I can buy all the non-perishables and freezer stuff at one time, and then just look at the calendar on the fridge the day of or day before and pull out the necessary ingredients. For fresh stuff, I can look at the menu plan and know exactly what I need to buy for that week. It actually saves money and time because we’re not buying stuff to just have on hand.
I do have a chore plan, as in designated other chores for each day of the week, but I’m going to be changing that up.
I am going through the process of de-cluttering our house. Trying to get rid of stuff we truly do not need because less stuff means less stuff to put away and manage. Less stuff to control our time and lives. I’m going through clothes to get rid of what our daughter does not need because I’m tired of the overflow from her drawers. Toys, same thing. Kitchen stuff etc. Everything. And we only live in just under 900sq. ft. I just want to feel like I have less to do and manage.
Number one rule? STOP thinking YOU have to do it all!
That’s honestly the hardest thing for me because I’m faster and I get it done right the first time. But get the whole family involved. A quick daily pickup before dinner. (Put some fun music on and make it a contest. Who can put away 10 things first?) Teach the kids how to load and unload the dishwasher – even if it means rearranging stuff in the cupboards so they can put away stuff down low. We do laundry on the weekends and the kids sort clothes before washing and fold and hang everything of theirs. (I started them on this at 4.)
Set the timer for an hour on a Saturday and see if, working together, you can get the house cleaned. Buy those containers of Clorox wipes for each bathroom and teach the kids to use them to wipe down the toilet and sink. There are even Windex wipes for the mirror although I haven’t tried them. Put a toilet bowl brush & container in each bathroom. Put a little Lysol and water in it and so it’s ready to scrub anytime. Other than the tub/shower you can clean the bathroom in about 5 min. (I won’t tell you how long the tub/shower goes sometimes 🙂
My kids also pack their own lunches. I have a big basket that I throw all the snacks in (granola bars, fruit bites, applesauce, etc.)
Crockpot meals rock or once you get organized you might look at cooking up extra meals and putting them in the freezer.
We also put our kids to bed pretty early (7:30) which means there’s some time in the evening for just me and Mark or I have time to get some stuff done. For the older kids sometimes we let them read for a bit but they know if they start messing around they’ll be going to bed even earlier the night before.
I’m sure there’s more but in the end you just have to try some stuff and see what works for you. I’m NOT a schedule girl so having certain things cleaned on certain days is just annoying to me 🙂 So just whenever mom declares it cleaning time (or we have company coming) everyone pitches in.
Hey girl! The quest you are on is the one all mommas are on, working or not-the quest for balance. It is extremely hard to find, and once you think you have it, something usually happens to disrupt it! So, you start all over again tying to find it! I am a Wife, Mom of 3, and I have been back at work for a year after having stayed home for 6 years. My work schedule is 8-4:30ish, and I work another job from home as contract writer for children’s church curriculum. That doesn’t even touch all of the other stuff I do because I’m passionate about it, like writing music, helping lead worship on Sunday, etc. I say that to help you know that it can be done! I don’t have a housekeeper although I do bring someone in every once in a while when I know it just cannot all be done by me and Michael. You just have to put some procedures in place to help you be able to do it. 🙂 You know as well as I do the pains of laundry in a family of 5-6. I handle that by doing a couple of things. I always start a load in the morning and then put it in the dryer as soon as I get home. If I’m home for the evening with no baseball, rehearsals, etc, then I try to get one more done that evening. Most of the time one load a day does it because I have kept myself caught up with the one a day rule. The key to this is getting all caught up from the beginning. Dishes are done every evening and we do use paper plates and napkins anytime the meal is quick and can handle it. As for the other cleaning chores, etc, I keep it on a schedule and my goal is always to not have any to do on the weekends. That time is extremely precious to me and my family. I usually put vaccuuming and dusting on the same day two days a week, bathrooms on the same day, etc.. My kids are 9, 6, and 3. The 9 and 6 year old take Clorox wipes and wipe down their bathrooms, working together like a team. I then go behind them and finish up. They put their clothes away after I fold them, even the 3 year old. He knows which drawer holds which clothes. As for lunches, we make them the night before and put them in the fridge. I plan out meals on about a two week schedule. We have a large calendar next to our backyard and everything goes on that calendar, even our meal plan. I look at it every evening and take out the meat to defrost in the fridge for the next night, etc. You can even chop and peel some items if need be the night before.
One of the best things my Mom ever told me was not to get so caught up in the cleaning of the house and making everything look perfect that you don’t have time to do a puzzle with your child and then miss their childhood. She would tell you she was that way and regretted it, so if the furniture doesn’t getdusted one day, then it doesn’t get dusted. Your children and husband are going to remember how you poured into them and loved them more than they are that it took you an extra day to get that thin layer of dust wiped up! I’m so excited for this new adventure you are on right now. This opportunity for you to be even more of a light out there in Austin and glorify God is amazing! You can do this. Just remember to show yourself grace just like you would show others! Love you!
Kelly
OUTSOURCE! Girl, you have got to outsource. You can’t maintain stay-at-home mom standards as a working mom. My philosophy has been that the “first fruits” of my job go to replace what I would have been doing at home. That means hiring a housekeeper and paying more for a sitter who does whatever I would do at home (including cooking and laundry). You just went from one income to two, so before you get comfortable with the increase, use a portion of yours to have someone do the household maintenance while you are at work, so that when you come home you can focus on your kids and not on a to-do list.
first of all… decide what you are NOT going to do anymore 🙂 Kristen is right… you can’t do everything you used to do when you where at home all day. 2nd – routines are a must. Kids need to go to bed at a set time so that you have time in the evenings to do laundry or just sit! 3rd – Ask for help! husband… kids… this is a huge help and gives them ownership in their family! Last – give yourself LOTS of grace. Get it done if you can… if you can’t – then let it go!
I’m right there with you, babe! I’ve been back at work full time for almost 4 months now. I feel so guilty when I can’t get everything done, but know that sometimes things have to slide so I can spend time with my kids and hubby! I do laundry on Tuesday-Thursday (it takes one night/morning to get it all washed and dried and two days for me to actually fold it and put it away) and again on Sat/Sun. I clean the best I can on Sat. mornings and Sundays after church. There are some weeks where absolutely nothing gets done and I’m okay with that (even if Ray isn’t!). I told him one time that sometimes I just need to not feel like a robot mom. You have a great support system of friends and a husband who is involved in the day-to-day of keeping a house running with four kids. It will take time to adjust and you will feel guilty at times, but just take comfort in knowing that this is where God has put your family in this season. Going back to work was a much harder decision that staying home, but it feels great nearly every day knowing that I can help contribute to our family in a tangible way.
I think the most important and the hardest thing is letting things go. The house just isn’t very clean (even though we have a housekeeper). We eat take out veggie burgers and fries too often. The time I spend with my son HAS to be quality and not quantity. Therefore I often sacrifice a home cooked meal for an hour just playing and connecting with him. It’s tough stuff, and something always had to give. You simply can’t do it all. But the kids will see their mom pursuing her passion- and passion is a worthy thing to model.
I think one of the most important things will be readjusting your expectations of self. There is only so many hours in the day. Realizing you have a new normal and redefining what is most important to you, Aaron and the family. Then, let the other things slide.
Also, I don’t know what your budget is, but when I worked outside of the home full time, we had help that came in from time to time. Like you, I didn’t want to trade the few waking hours I had left with the kids doing housework. If it fits in your budget, maybe you can hire outside help even if it just once a week (or every other week). Sidenote: if you do consider getting a little help, you shouldn’t feel bad about doing so. We aren’t super moms…even those of us that stay home! ; )
As far as laundry goes, I absolutely HATE laundry and with four little kiddos it is never ending. I have found it much easier to do one load of laundry per day except Friday (our family day). There is less to fold and less to put away and is now so much more manageable for me. It is one of the FIRST things I do in the morning (after the coffee goes on of course) and so easy to throw in one load. However, since you may be gone before you’re able to switch the clothes to the dryer, maybe it’s the first thing you do after hugging and kissing your kiddos in the evening (or Aaron throws in when he gets in). Then you can fold and put away after everyone’s asleep. (just a thought).
You’ll figure it out and soon you will have your new normal! ; )
Mel
I have little advice because we are still working out the kinks…but…we have made a no television on school days rule…this encourages interaction while the kids are awake and we read books together and try our best to do things like coffee set to brew while we are waking up…kitchen has to be cleaned EVERY night…lunches made the night before (or Jesse is TOTALLY making them in the morning). Laundry getting done, HA HA HA HA HA!
Love you and am SOOO proud of your newest accomplishment!
I actually work early in the morning too, so I totally understand. It took me about 6 months to get used to the early routine. One thing that I struggle with is coming home and trying to get chores done instead of spending quality kiddo time. My husband and I split the house chores and try not to do any of them before the kids go to bed….then we take an hour and “knock things out” so we can relax together for a while before it all starts over again the next day 🙂 I have found that the time I spend with my kids might be less, but the quality is much better than before I worked because I don’t take one moment witht them for granted.
Jamie, I so feel your pain!!!
Two little bits of advice from a mom who has never stayed home (but who has ALWAYS struggled with the whole ball of wax):
1. Hire a housekeeper ASAP to come once a week for a few hours to deep-clean your house and do as many loads of laundry as they can fit in during the time they are there cleaning. Seriously, it is soooo worth the money.
2. Figure out a strategy for dinner meals that you’ll feel good about. Here is my strategy (but surely there are many creative strategies for handling dinner)—–
http://johnson-mccormick.com/2011/04/1-year-swapiversary/
Keep your chin up and know that you are not alone!
Congrats — big time — on your big huge new job!!!!!!
Heather
Seriously, if the budget allows, hire a housekeeper. We have one once per month, and that way I know that at least the main, deep clean things are getting done every so often. (And we inevitably have the “pick everything up” day ebforehand too. ) We found we were spending all weekend tryingt o get things done and not having “fun time” together as a family – we decided the time was a priority and made the budget work.
Plan/prepare meals in advance. Cooking a big something on the weekend that can be used over again during the week = huge bonus! Freezer meals also a plus. We occasionally use Let’s DIsh to bolster our freezer supply.
Friday nights = date-in night. We usually get take-out and hang out after kiddos are in bed.
Run errands on lunch break, if you can manage.
Give yourself permission to not do it all, to be tired/frustrated…but don’t linger there. And, don’t feel bad saying “I know all this needs to be done but I’m taking a nap (or whatever to give yourself a real break)”