Happy Monday friends! Oh my gracious do I feel as though life has been fast and furious this summer. Every summer I say this, and every summer I love it, but still at the end of each summer I feel like I have run a marathon and need to sit down and catch my breath. That was me this weekend. Catching my breath and ready to start fresh this morning.
I feel like my new year is starting today. Summer for us was a fresh season of familyness (did i just make up that word? – I love to do that!). Aaron and I have both been away from social media and that has forced us to enjoy each moment without asking all the world to enjoy it with us. We didn't have our phones available at any moment to update all of you about all of our lives. I must say that I missed you all. I missed telling you about our days and weeks, but I also really enjoyed this summer with just our family. We made memories and they are ours. I will share some throughout the next few weeks, but for the most part we just lived life and didn't worry about what to share with you.
My new year starts today. New podcast guests. New articles to write. New blog posts to write. New talks to plan for. New women to pray for. New, new, new. Lots of newness for me this Fall.
I would be lying to you if I told you I was prepared for all that is in front of me. I'm not prepared at all. In fact most days I look at Aaron and tell him that I can not do this. I can not talk to women at a conference. I can not led women at my church through a study. I can not prepare to teach so many times this semester. I can not write meaningful words. I can not. I can not.
Every time he reassures me. He reminds me that I think very little of myself. I think I am not equipped for any of it.
He's right. I am so afraid of confidence. Confidence is probably my worst enemy. I fear pride. I know my ability to think very highly of myself, and so therefore I default to thinking I suck at everything.
It's not healthy, not from God, and just plain stupid.
I have a skewed view of confidence and this Fall I want to break that. I want to be confident, not in myself, but in who God has called me to be. I want to be confident, not in my ability to communicate, but in the way God speaks through me. I want to be confident, not in my words, but in the words God gives me to bring HIM glory.
This Fall holds lots of newness for me. Fun things. Big things. Exciting things. I'm asking God for confidence. To view myself as he views me. To rest in where he has me, and trust that it is HE who brought me here and nothing of my own greatness. To know and truly believe that he has equipped me to do good works, and I can have the confidence to walk in what he has prepared for me. To know and truly believe that he is the one that equips me. That he has provided His Word, His Son, the Holy Spirit, and a community of encouragers to help equip me. It is not about me at all, and that is something I can be confident in.
What are you focusing on in this next season of life? Let's run this race together, link hands, and be the women that God has for us to be.
I heard a great thing from Beth Moore once (paraphrasing), “Low Self-Esteem is just as bas as Pride. Both steal focus from the creator.” That made me think hard.
I am due with my first baby in November and will actually be leaving the workforce so I just want to focus maintaining my sanity and growing in grace and also teaching my son HIS grace and mercy. (So that’s a BIG task!!)
I am in the exact same place of stepping out into things that I feel called and equipped to do and yet so fear pride that often I would rather give up on all of it and not even try. It sounds like the conversations that we have with our husbands are so, so similar. 🙂 I’ve never heard someone say it quite like you just did…and it so resonated in me to walk in confidence so that He can be glorified. I’m excited to see how God uses you in this coming year!
Lots of newness for you for sure! I like how you said that you want to be confident in who God has created you to be. I think that’s the key to continuing to rest in the grace and the giftings he’s given you. I’m looking forward to hearing from you at the Influence Conference! I’ll be praying too 🙂
Love your reflections and heart. I have many of the same feelings and desires. I am praying for God to work mightily in and through me despite my weaknesses.
Jamie, love this post so much. What women’s study are you going to be teaching at the stone?
Kelli I’ll be teaching downtown starting in September. 😉