I love the difference between kids and adults when they ask me questions about adoption. If you have kids you know that they are brutally honest and will say whatever is on their mind! The other night Aaron and I went on a date and I had on a “date night” dress if you know what I mean, and as I was walking out the door Amos looks at me and informs me that my dress is too small. 🙂 Love it!
I was picking the kids up from the gym the other day and these two girls that were black were both standing by the check out station so I started talking to them. Here’s how our conversation went down:
Girl #1 – Where’s their other mommy?
Me – You mean their daddy?
Girl #2 – No, where’s their other mommy?
Me – They don’t have another mommy they have just one mommy.
They both look very perplexed, so I realize I need to answer the question that I have now realized they are truly asking.
Me – oh you mean the mommy that they had before me?
Girl #2 – Yeah.
Girl #1 – Oh did she die.
Me – No his (pointing to Amos) mommy didn’t die, she lives in Haiti.
Amos – Yeah I was born in Haiti.
Girl #1 – Oh you took him away from her.
Oh gracious this is more complicated then I thought and the guy working with the kids is looking uncomfortable at our conversation, although I’m not bothered by the questions one bit.
Me – No, we didn’t take him away, we adopted him. Do you know what adoption means?
Girls – Yeah.
Me – Yeah and so now I’m his mommy forever. You guys have a good night. Bye!
Today while picking up my kids from VBS Amos’ teacher saw me with the kids and after trying to figure it out asked if I was his mommy. I said yes and thanked her for loving on my kids all week. Here’s how our conversation went:
Lady: while whispering and holding her had in front of her mouth – Does he know he’s adopted?
Me: (thinking um ….yea … he’s black and I’m white … I think he’s noticed) Yes he does.
Lady: still whispering and holding her hand in front of her mouth – Is it okay to talk about?
Me: Yes they know they are adopted and we talk about it lots.
Lady: still whispering and holding hand in front of mouth – Are they all adopted?
Me: No, my oldest is biological.
Lady: Are the two from Haiti brother and sister?
Me: Now they are. Not biological though.
Children are much more comfortable just saying what they feel and asking what they want to know, where adults are more cautious with their words, which is probably a good thing! I truly don’t mind talking about adoption at all if people are truly just curious and not trying to make a point or be rude.
I tried not to bust out laughing when the woman asked me if they knew they were adopted or not. That always cracks me up. I mean, how could they not know? They are black. I am white. 🙂 I guess if you never told them they would eventually ask, or maybe not. There’s a question for you.