For as long as I can remember, I’ve thought about adoption. I often wondered if my future family would look a little more different, less traditional than most. Little did I know that God was already stirring and moving in my heart in ways that I wouldn’t see played out until much later in my life. It’s amazing to me how our gracious God plants a dream within our hearts, then reveals it to us piece by piece, in His timing, for His glory.
On my youngest son’s first birthday, I sat in the closet and cried because I knew I would never again be pregnant (which I loved). My husband and I were completely unified on this decision, but I couldn’t escape the nagging feeling in my bones that our family wasn’t finished growing. The restlessness in my heart made me wonder if adoption would be a part of our family’s story, after all. I prayed and begged God that if there was a child out there who was ours, that God would lead us to him.
One day my husband and I sat at a pizza place on one of our dates, dreaming big dreams for our family. We have two insane, energetic boys and I asked my husband if he ever thought about having more children. He emphatically said, “Not through your body! If we have any more kids, I think it needs to be through adoption”. Then we began asking the questions of where? and how? and, “God, what do you want us to do?” We began to pray that God would use ordinary people, like my husband and I, to show HIS extraordinary love to the fatherless.
Where do you go from there? Honestly, we had no idea. We just started praying together, praying separately, asking our community to pray with us, and asking for God to reveal HIS plan for our family. We needed specifics. Here’s what we DID know: We knew we didn’t want any more babies, so we began to realize that if our kid was out there, he was probably already walking the planet.
There were other things that kept us up at night, too. The stats are always changing, but there are about 28,000 children in foster care in Texas, almost 11,000 of those children are waiting for adoptive families. Just waiting. We also live just a few miles from Texas Baptist Children’s Home. We couldn’t escape the fact that the fatherless were all around us. God began narrowing the scope of what He was asking us to do and getting pretty specific with His plans.
Our church began offering a foster care/adoption training so we signed up. After each weekly training, I would look in the backseat of our car and see my two vibrant sons, happy and healthy, talking about Star Wars and Super Heroes. It broke my heart to think that if we did have another child out there somewhere, he was possibly being abused, almost certainly neglected, probably didn’t have enough food to eat, the list goes on and on. It was such a stark contrast that it broke my heart and gave me an overwhelming sense of urgency.
One day when we least expected it, we got a call from our adoption agency saying that there was a boy who they believed was “our son”. Because of the uniqueness of his case, that phone call began a 24 hour whirlwind in which we didn’t have a lot of time to think. My husband said we were going to keep saying “yes” until God said “no”. But God didn’t say “no”, so we jumped. He was in our home the next day.
And 7 months later, he is ours. Forever.
Hands down, the past 7 months have been the hardest of my life, but I’ve also loved them because the 5 of us have had to cling to Jesus for dear life like He was the last life preserver on the Titanic. God has blessed our entire family by opening our eyes to how much we really need Him. We KNOW we need Jesus, but we spend so much time distracted by the world, trusting in our own strength, and God gloriously interrupted our lives, teaching us so much about our own adoption in Christ by our Heavenly Father. Adoption has brought about amazing Gospel conversations with all three of my sons, and it has been evident that He is busy at work in their young hearts, even when I fail.
God PROMISES us that He will lead us. Exodus 15:13 says, “In your unfailing love, you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength, you will guide them to your holy dwelling.” If God is leading your family to adopt, He will begin revealing His plan, piece by piece in His timing, for His glory. So start praying and God will be faithful, just like He promised, to lead us to the end.
Jenn Kloubec lives in Round Rock, Texas with her three kids, and her husband, Dave, who is a Project Manager at DPR Construction and an Elder at The Austin Stone Community Church. She loves Pizza, the TV show Duck Dynasty, sweet tea and olives. You can connect with her on twitter or Facebook.
