In three weeks I'll turn 35.  I have no idea why, but this number is hard for me.  It shouldn't be.  I mean really what's the big deal between 34 and 35.

For some reason 35 seems like a big deal.  Like I should have my act together or something.  I should have parenting down.  I should have marriage down.  I should have loving Jesus down.

Then at the end of the day I realize these aren't true.

This is where I'm struggling.  I want to have it together.  That's just my nature.  Control.

But the truth is that I could get to 40 and still feel these same feelings.  In fact, I probably will.

That's why I need Jesus.  I don't have my act together.  I don't have parenting down.  I don't have marriage down.  I don't have loving Jesus down.

His grace is sufficient for me each day and even when I'm 35, there's still grace for me.

So, I'm gonna enjoy these last 21 days of being 34, because 35 puts me closer to 40 than I am now.  Although there's a small part of me that loves this.  Bring it on.  Getting older means my kids are getting older and honestly I love older kids.

So, I need to go to bed.  Old people don't stay up this late.

Night.  Night.

Jamie Ivey